Ceou's "Empty" Journal, "Bitter-sweet Return"

A failed caravan raid was the start of my day. Then Blackbent returned! It put me in the best mood! But of course, it was short lived. I brought him to Combe to discuss some things, and a watchman followed us out. He heard me admit to several crimes, and one of our men jumped him at the door. Blackbent was furious when I tried to fight him, and left. I ended up fleeing myself, after stabbing him in the gut. I couldn't find Blackbent, so I sat beside a tree and wallowed in self pity. Until he approached me, anyway. I tried to hold back my true emotions, but couldn't manage.. I explained to him that I attacked the guard out of fear of being hung (which is likely now) and that I did not have a choice. Perhaps the biggest blunder in my life thus far, was trying to kiss him. He told me that he thought of me more as a sister, and to forget about it. I can't forget about it. Not now. Now it is too late. Now I will never be able to look him in the eye again. Was it so bad of me to drink afterwards? Anyways.. I woke up in my usual spot in Combe. Someone is looking out for me.. I will probably spend the day here.. Hanging my head in shame.