Dear Threland,
Thank goodness for the efficiency of hobbits and their little mailing system. Seen more than my fair share of the little blighters this last little while. They're sort of like mini versions of us only with curly hair and with fewer tendencies to starve themselves. I got your letter safe and sound and enjoyed reading it...not that I could understand half of it! I mean really! You should learn some grammar! It is one thing speaking idiotically but quiet another to write like that too. Nonetheless, it did provide me with an ample opportunity to do a little Threland impression and have a little laugh to myself...although I did get some awefully funny looks from the others, must have thought I was talking to myself or something. I would not have you any other way and in any case, I somehow doubt that my own grammar is world class.
I hope this letter finds you in one piece and safe and well. For myself, I am in surprisingly good health, although walking up this beasty mountain after we left the hobbit lands and started to enter Evendim did set me poor leg off again. Still, that Favarth guy promised to have another crack at fixing it when I get back, although I will wait for you to return before I force myself to be bed ridden again.
I am currently sat in a boat in the middle of a lake, Lake Evendim I think it is called and if it is not then it is the whacking great lake in the middle of the land that you could not miss unless you were blind. It reminds me of the sea that we saw in Forochel when we traveled up to the cold lands of the north. Thankfully, Evendim is much warmer than those lands, although I am distinctly lacking in people such as your good self for me to fall asleep on. Indeed, the company is a lot smaller than last time and I do not know anyone that well other than Flynagin and Timmothy, although there are still some familiar faces such as Firen and Lufawyn. However, my plan is that by the time we get back to Bree, all the group will be added to the entourage of minions that I already have there and all will be buying me ale. They have no choice in this matter.
We have not run into much trouble so far, to be perfectly honest I was half asleep until we got out of the Shire, I had fuelled myself up with that much ale in Bree and the effects were keeping me somewhat zoned out of the events that were happening around me. We did run into some tomb-robber-brigandy-type-fellows when we got to Evendim, although we managed to escape these unscathed. We are however safe for the moment, for as I said we are in a boat in the middle of a lake, what could possibly harm us here? I guess I will find out soon enough.
I hope we find the treasure soon at any rate, although I am always game for an adventure and a laugh, there is something awful about being away from ale for so long. Although, I am sure that your mead will be a good substitute for an ale if it really is as good as you say it to be. I almost wish that I had come with you, although from the sound of it I think I would have probably fallen and broken my neck, less risk of doing that here...
I very much wish you were here, I have some important news to tell you, although I shall tell you face to face. I think you will find the news to be to your liking and I cannot wait to see the look on your face when I tell you. I shall keep you in suspense for the moment though because I am truly that evil.
Keep yourself safe because if you die or anything then I swear I will actually kill you!
Yours with lots of relatively correct grammar (yes I concentrated really hard to write this and yes almost anything else I write has made up words in it),
Sefa xx
