My spirit was not haughty, but it was proud. In stubborn silence, I would sit under the dark pines, wondering why I was so ignorant that I could not answer the questions of children. I knew a few things, but what I did not know was immense. I wished to learn more about the world and see what lay outside the borders of my homeland. So I ventured forth, without any idea of what I would find. Exceedingly foolish it seems to me now, but at the time, I thought it was the best path. It was not a very smooth or prosperous course that I took - buffeted by the blackest storms, and in the worst condition possible, I scraped my sorry way to the haven of Imladris, where I happened upon Lord Anglachelm.
In him, I recognized an old and great spirit. I was drawn to his noble mien and bearing, and stood at some distance timidly watching him. He was so tall, and his hair was so golden-bright, that I thought, surely, this is one of the Great Ones from the West. His deep eyes were distracted, as if they were looking inward through the mists of memory, so I thought he took no notice of me, but then he beckoned me to approach. He asked my name, and when I had come to Imladris, noticing a strange face, and my draggled, road-worn appearance. Upon hearing that I had recently arrived, alone and on foot, he alerted me to the dangers of solitary wandering in the lands west and south of the Hithaeglir, and said there were many evil Men in the lands around who wished ill upon us, and warned me to be wary. He told me of his House, and of its work, and said that he and his people dwelt in the Valley, and that its safety was maintained with the help of many hands, at great expense and labour. I thought I had never heard anyone speak so fair, and as I talked with him, it came burning hot into my mind that he would take me into his House. So it was that I begged to serve him, thinking he could offer me protection, and a place, and I entreated him to do with me what he pleased, and dispose of me as his infinite wisdom seemed best, because following my own way, and doing my own will, only seemed to bring trouble. It is astonishing that my purposes did not oftener work toward my own good, and would bring many mischiefs and failures, but at the time, I had no fit calling, not until I met the Lord Anglachelm - then my narrow fortunes took a turn for the better. I never once questioned my lord’s decisions, even if I thought I was very ill-suited to be an Ambassador for such a great and noble House. That mixed feeling of awe and wonder, which always accompanied me when I was in my lordship’s presence, made me think that I might be capable of doing such a thing.
Our lord was the best lord. He was the fairest, kindness, wisest lord, who would overrule the opposition with mild equanimity, and overlook the faults of his people, as if we were his children, and he were our benevolent father. He knew I was deficient in learning, and kindly placed me on the path of light and knowledge. From him we were held together, and from him we would build ourselves up. Many gifts he doled out to us, all by measure, and given as seems best, in his inestimable wisdom. Yet no one of his people was considered unimportant, and high or low, rich or poor, greater or lesser, he treated all alike with the same courtesy and respect. Indeed, he gave unto me many favours and graces, and bestowed upon me the greatest gift anyone has ever given me - his blessing of trust. He taught me that even from the lowest and the least one could expect great things, and his employment of me as his Ambassador was a high mark of favour, and it laid upon me an honourable distinction, and an eagerness to carry out his will and improve the greatness of his House.
When I returned from those strange dealings with the Naugrim, and gave him a full account of all that transpired, Lord Anglachelm kindly put his hand upon my shoulder, and commended me for a job well done. Knowing that I was worthy of his trust, and that he noticed in me something good, and expected success of it, made me even more eager to perform my duty in complete diligence and obedience. If only if our lord were returned to us, we would be spared this bitter sorrow, and be made whole and happy again! - then I would again have deeds of notoriety to perform, and these disturbing rumours of my brethren making winter in the midst of summer would cease flowing into the Valley. Everyone would be back where they belonged, in their proper places, and not scattered throughout the world. But alas! Our most honourable, wise, kind and noble lord, the bond that kept us all together, was murdered by the violent and cruel hands of barbarous and bloody-minded Men. Now we are as a body without a head, flailing about, and drawing ourselves into the destruction in which we have plunged ourselves. Who will direct the body and guide us away from the abyss? It is not Lord Anglachelm who must be found, but ourselves.
