Fault

It was the worst of any feelings that could twist and twine about her form, hunched over the fireplace of the most backroom of the inn. Empty bottles around her, and she could not stop thinking. In her lap: a small lynx kit, asleep in the drape of her dress. It was the only thing keeping her as quietly calm as she was. She could hardly fathom why Shadow, as she only knew him, would entrust her with the care of the animal--a test, she would think, but such a seemingly risky one...

She raised a hand to her head, but her fingers recoiled immediately when they felt the haphazard length of locks that was now her hair. Slowly, ever so slowly, she placed her palm against the hair, fingers curling against it. Where the roots met her scalp, she felt a deep ache from her hair having been pulled the way it was.

Her hand kept trailing down, gracing down the side of her face. There were welts and bruises, small, but painful. She went over them quickly, and soon her fingertips traced under her jaw, meeting her neck. Brutal bruises had finally formed, but she needed to not press them to know; breathing hurt, drinking hurt, talking hurt. Her voice was raspy, and there was a throbbing pain with each drink she took, though one she ignored.

The sides of her neck held fresh cuts. They did not cut anything vital, but they were cuts that would not heal nicely, she knew--it was the reason they had been given, twin cuts on either side of her neck. She had been marked, claimed by a beast that had taken a ravenous liking for her. It was his promised return.

She didn't know where Ann was, and she had last seen Amnis bleeding on the streets. It was her fault. It was her fault. It was her fault.

She still saw the surprise on Balthen's face as he realized he had lost his balance, could still hear the sickening thud and snapping of the tarp as his body met the ground. It was her fault. He woke, confused and angry, violent.

It was her fault. 

The kitten mewled in her lap, and Zurich realized she had begun crying; the small animal peered up at her with bright eyes, innocent and curious. She brought a hand down, carefully scratching behind the kits ears, and a purr began through the air, a melody.

"I won't let you get hurt, too. Anyone but you," she'd whispered, the oddest sense of unknown comfort finding itself to her mind as the ferocious purr effortlessly brought light to the dim room..