Small particles of dust slowly floated down to the ground, only visible through the rays of soft light that broke through a small crevice. Elven tables stood, aged and worn with time, holding up modest boxes and texts while rubble crowded the floor and a thin layer of dirt covered every surface within its walls.
Thendryt and Faorie stood amongst the once undisturbed dust, staring into each others eyes, as if testing the stability of the other, though without a trace of criticism. Faorie clenched her fists lightly and spoke gently, “I have wished to know what it was you caged in your heart for so long. And yet...” She paused briefly. “I wonder if it is meant for me to know.” Her eyes lowered to the journal, still laid flat within Thendryt's grasp. “That book holds all that would answer the mysteries I've worked to understand. But it is not my place to do such a thing...” Faorie raised her gaze to Thendryt's as he returned his own to her. “Though I ask...”
Thendryt furrowed his brow as he waited for her to complete her thought.
Faorie seeks long awaited answers from Thendryt.
Faorie licked her lips and quietly asked, “Why did you come back?”
Suddenly, the memory of Thendryt's return to Imladris after a three year long absence appeared in the mind of the two. The image of Faorie and Thendryt's first meeting in the Hall of Fire alongside Nelnardis and former member of the Warband, Tahjun. The intensity of his eyes were noted at first glance, and Faorie never forgot it. Thendryt had asked Faorie for aid in his search for malevolent men on two occasions before cutting off his trust in her and setting on his mission on his own. It all returned in that instant and the two stood contemplating this question in their own ways.
Thendryt placed his hand to his side, over his healing wound. His head gradually lowered where strands of his long hair would cover his conflicted facial expression. He slowly turned around and walked to the short set of stairs where he sat and stared at his journal thoughtfully. His eyes were set upon its cover for a long moment before using his thumbs to pull the covers apart, followed by another continuous stare.
Faorie watched him carefully, unsure of what his actions were meant to say to her. But she said nothing, and continued to wait for him to find the words to speak his mind.
The rays of light that shined behind him glowed over his back while his front was covered in shadow... but that did not hide the tear that fell onto the open pages in his hands.
Then he spoke at last. “I came back... because this is the only place in all of Arda that makes me forget what I am.” He barely shook his head as he lowered his head even more. “The only place that I have ever considered home. The only place that hasn't scarred me. The only place that heals.”
Thendryt shares his reasons for returning to Imladris.
Faorie took a hesitant step forward, but did not move any further. She remained silent, for she understood there was plenty more to be said.
“I came back because this is the only place that I feel welcome.” He raised his gaze to meet Faorie's, a strand of black hair slowly moving over his eye. “I don't know what you want, Faorie... what you want me to tell you. I don't expect to grow old. I don't expect to live a blessed life. I've walked the path of pain and darkness. Lived, survived, conquered it. Embraced it.”
A brief silence followed.
“And I would do it again, gladly...” he half-whispered. Without care, Thendryt threw his journal to Faorie's feet.
Surprised, Faorie took a step back as a small cloud of dust floated upwards the moment the book hit the ground, its pages exposed. She looked at Thendryt, almost questioningly.
His shadow made him look worn, almost aged. “...If it would mean that this place would endure.”
Faorie did not move. She did not reach for the book and showed no intention of doing so just yet. She turned steadily back to Thendryt, furrowing her brow.
“Read it if you will. It contains my history, my childhood, my upbringing...” He lazily pointed at the journal as he spoke tiredly. “It contains my darkest secrets and my brightest dreams. It contains my scars, my mind and my soul...” He watched Faorie, still waiting for her to pick it up.
Faorie shook her head slighly and took steps over the journal towards Thendryt. She stared down upon him and once again spoke in a gentle tone. “Thendryt, your life if yours to live. I need not read your life to be a part of it. Would you let me in? Would you walk beside me as my ally? Or continue walking the paths of life alone, without a companion to help you find your way? You speak of your solitude as if it were something to be proud of. They are just as they are – your past and your memories.”
Thendryt listened quietly, expressionless.
“You are left to prove to me that you have learned from your past... to not inflict what has happened to you unto those you care about. Would you do to me what those men had done to you?”
Neither of them felt need for Thendryt to formally answer. Faorie continued. “You would say not, and I would believe you, for I know you are not an evil spirit... but do you believe it yourself?” Her stare grew bolder, heavier. “Are you Thendryt Morson – the man who lives his life protecting the residents of the vale and defending against the ever impending evils of Arda? Or are you the man that tried so hard to show me that he was better off dead?”
“Less people got hurt if I kept to myself. Do understand that I will never fully open up to anyone.” Faorie opened her mouth to speak, but Thendryt continued before she could have the chance. “However, some might get closer than others.”
Faorie glanced over her shoulder to the journal that still remained on the ground. Her eyes expressed faint concern for a moment. “Thendryt,” she whispered as she turned her head back, “Take my hand.” She reached out her hand towards Thendryt.
His response was to glare darkly at her at first. To take her hand was a strange action, but after a bit of hesitation he took a firm grip of her hand. She pulled Thendryt to stand and quickly placed her hand back to her side as she prepared herself for her next words. She spoke in a low voice, but still maintained an air of determination. “There may be no one who will come to know your nature, your dreams, your hopes... I may never know what had brought you to the places you've been or the evils you had faced... but if I am to never know any of this then allow me to know the man you wish to be. The man who has conquered his demons. The man who has battled against his dark past and had risen victorious. Do not forget your past, but do not become it either. Be the man you wish to be now.”
Thendryt relaxed slightly as he considered Faorie's words.
“Will I come to know this man?” Faorie pushed.
“I cannot say,” Thendryt muttered, “One chapter of my past has been taken care of, but that book is thick.” He grinned light-heartedly before returning to his serious tone. “But if you so deeply want to know that man, you may hold onto that book. I do not know what the future will bring, but I can say this: for every piece of my past I face I come closer to this man you seek.”
Smiling lightly, Faorie nodded understandingly.
“I will not promise you anything I can't uphold, but I hope you realize that I am moving forward, towards the future, and not retreating.”
A brief silence filled the air, but it was met with a gentle atmosphere. Faorie lowered her gaze to the ground and smiled softly, pleased by his answer. “You are a warrior of a special quality that I have yet to see in any other.” Raising her chin and straightening her back, she says, “Do not lose yourself.”
Thendryt grinned slightly, understanding her words as she has done his.
Peace and understanding at last reach Thendryt and Faorie.
The rays of light coming from behind him shone brighter than before to the point of nearly becoming a bother. Faorie looked over his shoulder and narrowed her eyes as the light hit her face. “The sun has finally risen enough to break through fully.” She returned her gaze back to Thendryt. “I must go about my duties as I initially intended...” She chuckled, “We had been speaking throughout the entire night.”
Thendryt's grin faded and he was about to turn to leave until Faorie interrupted his steps with her words. “Thendryt,” she called, as she stepped back and picked up the black book, “What do you wish to be done of your journal?”
“You keep it,” Thendryt said without a second thought. “Lock it away. Read it if it pleases you. Or let it collect dust.”
Faorie held the book with one hand slightly towards Thendryt, but then pulled back slowly. “And what will you do now?”
Thendryt turned to his side where Faorie could only see his profile. “That remains to be seen, but I'll be around.”
Nodding once, Faorie watched Thendryt as he remained still, focused on no particular direction. “Go then. I will keep you no longer.”
He smiled a bit wider before walking out of the double doors that had led them into the cave. As the door shut with an audible click Faorie turned to stare at the journal in her hands. She slowly made her way to the steps and sat in the spot Thendryt sat before. She continued to gaze steadily down upon the book in thought as if it were staring back. The rays of light that once glowed over Thendryt's back now warmed her and the shadow of her sitting upon the steps laid silhouetted on the ground. But the light was stronger now, the heat from the light was notable now... and by sitting as Thendryt did, she left herself to ponder over the days to follow the night of conversation they shared and perhaps to even someday come to understand Thendryt in the way he deserved to be understood.
Return of Absence
END
