Daigan's book, entry '102'

''Blodwynn told me of Ilaru's plan.. How I am going to love the outcome of it. Either one of my enemies is going to die and I doubt Ilaru will get out of this unscathed. Perhaps she will die by Drevorin's hands, and Davick ends him? It leaves me with having to deal with Davick, but I doubt he will form much of a problem if it would go down like that, now will he? He does after all love Ilaru. I wonder how that lass of his would react to that news, I doubt she will stay with him for long. Or is this too cruel? Am I turning into something I have always feared? Kearn claims to have seen some changing in me, but he is not sure if it's a good thing, or a bad one.. What am I talking about? This shouldn't be about my own feelings or.. I just had a long ponder there and a huge sigh.. Anyhow, this should be about Blodwynn, the love of my life and the one that chokes my breath.. The one that has my heart skip a beat every time she smiles at me. She is the kind of girl that appears in your dreams and you wish that she never leaves, that she would stay forever and the moment you wake up that she is there cuddled up in your arms... She is that girl, and who am I to deny her the world? I am going to do my best now for her, this is what she deserves, nothing less. I hurt her once, never a second time.. I am a changed man. I am in love now. Dear Blodwynn if you will ever read this, yes.. yes I do want to marry you.. I am just afraid to let you down...''