Well, here we are.
We left Bree-land two days ago, he and I. I have no idea to where he is leading me but he does at least have some destination in mind, it seems, for his footsteps are unerring.
I have not left Bree under the best of circumstances. That bothers me.
I had planned to make ammends. I tried. I am still unhappy with what Blodwynn did, but my anger for her has cooled. I wanted to talk to her, I tried to delay the journey so that I could. Circumstances, however, overtook me. Damn that Daigan! I can never be certain if I wish her to find out what manner of man he truly is or wish her to remain ignorant. She loves him, she is happy with him and I like that she is. She, of all people, deserves happiness. Will she be so happy though, I wonder, if she ever comes to truly understand what sort of person he really is at heart? I worry for her, even now.
I spoke to Ruthrey. I told him everything; everything that had happened between Daigan and I, why I dislike the man so much. He did not believe me. Not at first. He declared me a liar, said that Daigan would never do as I claimed. Even when I found the man who had witnessed a part of my flight from Daigan and his final capture of me, still Ruthrey denied my claims.
I realise that my inability to deal with his overwhelming care has caused him to be angry with me, but I was not aware that I had done anything to make him distrust me. He cited Blodwynn and Daigan's version of events, though, so that would explain a lot. Their word against mine, two against one. I wonder if he took into account the fact that they are lovers and thus will speak on one anothers behalf? Ah, but it matters not.
He wanted proof that I spoke the truth. I can understand that. In the end, though, I did not need to find any. Daigan revealed himself in all his twisted glory when he manipulated Ruthrey into attacking Drevorin and then later turned on him. What had Ruthrey done to secure Daigan's anger apart from not kill someone in the back room of a tavern?
Ruthrey is a hunted man, now. I worry for his safety. I have done the only thing I can for him in getting Drevorin to drop the matter, otherwise my erstwhile friend would have had two seeking his head. Now he only has the one but that is more than enough, I think. I hope he will come out of this, I hope he will be safe.
I look across the small campfire now and I wonder; is it myself I should be more concerned about this time? Here I am in the wilderness with none other than Drevorin. No one will come to save me this time should the worst occur. I know this, I accept this and still I came. Why?
I am not even certain that I can explain it to myself in these pages. I had to do it. He has a honeyed tongue, this supposedly raving madman. He knew exactly what to say - given a few prompts of course. I have to wonder why I did that, though. I am sure that there is a reason. There must be.
He now claims a wish to change. He spoke grand words back in Bree about how I am the only person who could possibly help him do so. Am I to believe him? How can I? He freely admits using manipulation to get what he wants and I heard him gloating to Saelran that he now had me. Ruthrey also told me what was said between them behind that locked door and it sounds about right. I had expected it. What if there is a small chance that he is telling the truth, though? What if he really does want to change? Should I not do my best to try aiding him in it? It is a fools hope at best, I know, but even if there is the slightest chance, how can I turn him away?
He is using me. I know this. I have yet to discern for what end, though. As long as I keep this in mind, I should be able to weather his attempts to sway me, I think.
