Expect this to have no rhyme, reason, or definite thought pattern, as it likely will not. This is essentially just Rhyva, rambling to herself in her head..
Rhyva withdrew a silver coin from her pocket. On one side it bares the Boarhead crest of Bree, where it was minted. On the other, something resembling a banner.
"Flip a coin. If it lands on heads, things will go in my favor.. If it lands on tails, things will continue to collapse. Things will continue to go south. People I love will leave me, people I hate will arise, and all the stress in the world will fall on my shoulders.."
She tossed the coin aloft, caught it, and smacked it gently against the back of her hand, to see the boar's head staring up at her.
"Heads.. Really?.. Let me try again.."
Once again, she flipped the coin to see it land face up.
"Heads again.. Maybe it's just dumb luck.."
Third time's no less the charm, as it misses her hand, and lands with the boar's head up on the cobblestone below.
"Heads, another time? I'd almost mistake this coin for being overly optimistic, were it a sentient being. How can things possibly swing in my favor at this point? Why am I such a dreary pessimist that I can't accept a coin landing on heads, or, expect it to land on tails. I'm Not a very lucky person. I've had horrid luck throughout my life.. My career is one field I sometimes regret. Watch Captain, a word I hear too often, and sometimes don't even like. People approach me out of uniform, and off duty with all their problems, deals, wants and needs.. It would not be so bad, if they'd wait until I was working, and not barge into a personal conversation to pull me away every ten minutes! This is the price I agreed to pay.. But why does everyone and their grandma have some kind of business, or bone to pick with me? My job is mostly paperwork, scheduling, management.. It feels lazy at times, but I do think that I deserve to be comfortable every now and then!
And this is not even my worst luck. I think that my love life would have to take that prize. I've been married to the same man twice, both times he pretty much decided to vanish from my life without giving any notice. The longer I think about it, the more i realize that he was quite simply, boring. We had little in common, and 'opposites attract' only goes so damn far before it becomes, 'You're two different people, and loving one another doesn't make you compatible'. I don't regret leaving him, despite the loneliness I have felt since.
Lately, I will admit, I have had something pushing me towards Alex Dwarrowfeld.What can I say? We met around the same time we, quite coincidentally decided to give up the bottle, and we both have a lot to talk about in terms of our background. Other than that, the man is just fun to be around. He's not afraid to speak his mind, he's honest, he's nice (sometimes - unless he's being a jackass, which is kind of funny). I.. Always sense some kind of vague tension when I'm around him. He knows that I have feelings for him in a deeper sense, and I know that he has these same feelings for someone else. I often wonder why I torment myself like this. I know that she's probably a much better person than I am, and that whatever I feel for him, he'll probably never feel for me. And, this is to be expected. I mean, look at me: Divorced, probably one of the most depressing people on the face of Arda, holding more responsibility than most people in the village... Entering in some sort of courtship with me, puts weight on their shoulders. It's a very lonely feeling, knowing that there's so much about me that drives people away at only a glance.
I still went to the Yule Festivities with Alex recently. Despite that bit of underlying tension and discomfort I felt, knowing he had every upper hand.. It was still more fun than I have had in a very, long time. I did realize then, that Alex brings out the best in me. He rekindles that same spark I had when I was only nineteen, and fills me with a childish sense of joyousness that no one else really has.
I wish, very frequently now, that his current 'interest' doesn't return his feelings, as selfish as it is. But what can I do? Not much, entirely. I can only make my pressence clear throughout these events, and hope that, maybe they'll sway in my favor?"
She picked up her coin and sighed, giving it another toss. Once more, it landed with the boar's head grinning up towards her. She looked down at it and smiled gently to herself, then stared out the bay window a bit longer.
"Maybe I should stop being such a pessimist. Maybe things will go well for me, and maybe all I have to do is.. Think positively? Smile more? That sounds like what I should do anyway.. Yeah.. Optimism.."
she tucked the coin away in her pocket and left the building,that same smile not yet coming off her face.
