"What did I gain? Do I feel any better?"
Rhyva lies in bed awake. The day has not yet come, but she found no sleep that night. Her innermost thoughts and feelings had been in an uproar, causing her to laugh to herself.. And cry to herself. Though she was exhausted, her mind was still racing. Her feelings had not settled.
"The man who killed Sereyna is dead.. It is almost impossible to fathom, how tremendously good of a thing that actually is. But I still feel guilty. I should have saved her life. I know it was impossible, but I could have tried more than I did, or died with her?"
She took the pillow out from under her head and held it over her face, to block out the crack of dawn. She was not ready to except that her night had been squandered awake.
"No. Sereyna would not want me to continue dwelling on this.. This is why people believe in a higher power. I cannot bring her back. I cannot undo what is done. Her death is avenged.. I can only pay tribute to her life, by not focusing on her death."
After a long moment of thought on this topic, she let her mind wander elsewhere. The sun had already risen, and she set the pillow back under her head. She took a deep breath and let a smile slowly fall onto her lips.
"I do my best. I'm a good person. And things are going well. I've no reason to start dwelling on the past now, do I? I've put an end to one of the most dangerous men to walk Bree's streets, and I should be proud of that."
She slowly turned over to see the empty space in her bed, sighing softly. She slowly rubbed her hand up and down the empty space, mind wandering to another topic entirely.
"I've more to live for now anyway. Alekay has made it pretty clear he's no longer out for.. What's her face.. And not hesitated to, sort of, be at my side. I'm happy. I'm really happy. I'm more happy, than haunted, and this is a rare thing. A lot of things haunt me.. My life is haunted. But it sort of feels worth it now. I think I just needed something to distract me from all the disorder and Chaos. I think I made a fair choice, to."
Several moments went by of inward, tired giggling and contemplation, before her thoughts cycled back around to her lost loved one, and around again to her current fortune. Rhyva eventually stirred from bed and dressed herself, not in her watcher's uniform, but her casual attire. She decided along the way to Bree that she would pick a white rose from the flower garden in the North-west corner of town, and lay it where she stood when she saw Sereyna die. It would be the least she could do.
Rhyva will never forget Sereyna. One day, she may even be able to forgive the man that killed her. But that day has yet to come. She will still stop at that one point, right along the main square where she saw her fall.. Where she witnessed the worst moment of her life. But she can stand there now. She has accepted it. She has been able to come to terms with this, not because she managed to put an end to her killer, but because she realized that the only thing Sereyna ever wanted in her entire short life, was to see her loved ones happy. To make them happy. If her memory makes people happy, then does it not make her goal in life realized and complete? Does it not finalize her goal?
That is the thought behind it. That is what lets Rhyva sleep at night. She has let her go.. She doesn't know what happens to your spirit after you leave this world, but she strongly believes that she has went somewhere pleasant. Somewhere nice. the same place her father went. The same place Hedger went. Wherever that may be.
She can breathe. She can think. Her tears become tears of joy after leaving a rose for Sereyna, when it finally hits her,
"The nightmare is over. I am not controlled by my past, and I control my future. The future looks bright. And I want to embrace it."
The night following.. She did not stir. It was the most peaceful rest she could have hoped for. She would wake up in the morning, with a huge smile on her lips, and a bounce in her step. It was a new day. It was a different life.
