What is it like you ask me? To be considered a 'freak'? To have people hate you for what you are? Whatever you are? To feel the ice and fire of their leering faces as you pass by and hear the jabs of their whispered words and sneers?
No, I do not speak of being a dark skinned, swarthy man from Harad, nor do I speak of the Numenorean blood that runs through my veins. Nor do I speak of my chosen vocation or career...
I speak of something that is me down to the core. Unchangeable in every aspect. What I speak of is my desires... For men. Most men look and turn their heads for a pretty woman with a nice bosom... Not me... I look and turn my head at the men with broad shoulders and deep voices.
Aye, I knew at a young age... As a child I'd sneak a peek at the other boys while the boys were busy looking at the girls. I admit, I've hidden in the servant's quarters and snuck a kiss or two with a boy I grew up with...
I have been forced to marry a woman at the tender age of fourteen, but I ran off before it could be consummated... My heart lays with the men...
Aye, I know! I slept with women, have nine children! But that does not change the fact I have more lust for men than women. Very few men would return my desires, so I have mostly kept to myself and slept with women, though I did not get satisfaction from it.
Yet over the years, I have become more... flamboyant and open... If someone asks me now if I prefer men or women, it is definitely men, and I would not hide it... I mean... Look at me!
Bright, colorful, calling people dearie, darling or hun.. I am just as comfortable in a dress as I am armor...
Maybe I am a freak... but I got a husband and a lover and I couldn't be any happier.
