I suppose this would be a good time to write about recent things... Sitting in a half-empty Prancing Pony, my daughter at Dad's estate for right now... I've got so much weighing on my mind right now and I need to get it out of my head and... I don't know, in here or talk about them with someone, and Dad's not available to talk right now, so I guess this is the next best thing.
Violet's doing great; she's getting so big, she's smiling so much! She doesn't cry as much, either, which... I suppose that's a good thing, considering she's basically got 24/7 care what with my hiring a nurse for her, her staying at Dad's estate every now and then, plus me. All in all, it's really great to see her thriving so, SO well... yeah, there's the occasional fever, but they're not that bad, plus I hear it's quite normal for babies to have fevers. They're not persistent, thankfully, else I'd be too worried to be at the Pony... well, I wouldn't be here at all if it was a fever that hasn't broken, really, but still.
Anyway... as for my thoughts... well, I've met a couple of guys, both of whom are incredibly nice and understanding to my... er, situation, as it were. Though, I've only spoken to one of them once, and the other... well, he's kind of like a bodyguard? Something like that, anyway; he's taken an unofficial oath to protect me, and considering I don't exactly... need it, given Dad's position, and the fact that I somewhat know how to fight--I FINALLY started my fighting lessons, and so far so good!--it's more of a meet up and walk home thing... he's really sweet though.
The one I speak of, his name is Andelith. He's a good guy, from Rohan, and clearly he's had some military training. Whether he's participated in battles or not, I have no idea, and I don't think it's a good idea to ask, just in case he has.
The other's name is Mercer... Well, he's told me his first name, but I just like to use 'Mercer' instead. He's a good guy, too, and that's definitely something to count on. Don't know where he's from; it's hard to make a real distinction, because he sounds like he's from anywhere and everywhere. At the same time, though... I don't know.
Maybe I should have them meet Violet, see how she takes to them. I don't know if my head is being stupid to my heart, or if my heart is trying to tell me something, but... I feel drawn to the both of them, and I feel like a huge decision is coming my way. The only thing I can say, at this point, about my decision is that it will be made based on how happy my daughter is when the decision is brought to me.
... Gods, I probably should have gotten something strong. The events that put me in this 'situation' are really starting to get me down. My brother told me I need to move on from it, but with it replaying so freshly in my head, how can I? My heart has moved on, yeah, but my head is not letting go, it's not letting them fade out...
... maybe I should talk to Dad anyway, get this mess with my head sorted out... I can't stand remembering everything I did to make -him- happy only for me to find out that he had started going around behind my back about the things he made me swear to never do to him. I can't stand the fact that he left not only me, but his -daughter-, after he'd sworn up and down that he would never, -ever- leave her... I can't stand the fact that he became the man he swore he would never become...
Gods, I really need a strong drink...
