A year has passed since I came back to Pelargir. Much has happened in this time... Looking back to my actions now, I have come to one conclusion only. I have become a monster. I am responsible for the deaths of so many people... Yet what is even more monstrous is that I can still sleep at nights, knowing what I have done, and I feel no regrets. Why? Why is it that killing comes so easily to me? Why is the thought of having the life of another in my hands, me being the only one to decide if he is to live or die, so intoxicating? In my mind, this is a game. And the winner takes all, including the life of the opponent...
Yet for all my monstrosities, for all the massacres I have caused, I still find bits and pieces of humanity inside me. I still feel sympathy, I still have fears and doubts, I even feel love... Love for killing, love for making those who made others suffer, endure the same suffering, but I also feel love for her... The enchanting harlot, the breathtaking woman, the only one who has managed to become a permanent part of my thoughts, with a mere glimpse and small whispers...
As I have predicted months ago, when I first met her, she hides much more than she allows herself to show to the outside. Mistress of poisons I have named her, for poison is her kiss, her touch, her glimpse. Poisoning the minds of lesser men, leading them to their demise as she speaks promises in their ears, promises of power, and wealth, and love, which come with a great cost... I have seen her turn brother against brother, father against son, husband against wife... And the winner of these conflicts, the one who so foolishly believes that he has done enough to earn her heart, is in fact the one who suffers most. For she moves on, forgets them, and they are left to ruin, to crumble in their regrets of their actions, ultimately either taking their own lives, loosing their sanity, or, in very rare occasions, managing to move on, but the scar never heals.
In that web I am afraid I have stuck too... For she has come to me, and whispered words I so much craved to listen to... She spoke of suffering, of my suffering, of the things that torture my mind at nights, and though I have never thought about it, she has managed to create doubts about what I do. She has shown me my next targets, people I have never suspected before, about whom she spoke words of terrible actions, people who need to be taken care of. I have doubts, but still, her words sound so true, I find it hard to not believe them. She told me who I should kill next. A family, or, rather... A whole kin.
Each death comes easier than the last one... More natural, more simple, more... Delightful. I shall not try to hide from myself, from what my actions have made me. A merciless killer, a monster... Yet my heart still maintains some warmth, and my soul is not completely blackened yet. Soon though, it will be, and it is something for what I hold no regrets against. Now I should prepare...
There is a kin I have to exterminate.
[Originally written by the player of Crow (Derakoth)]
