20 Lithe ~ I can't even begin. It's like the most wonderful thing ever! I thought I'd feel a lot different but other than a vague ache and the fact that I'll never be what I once was, I feel fine. Better than fine, I feel great! I can't stop smiling and blushing. I'm sure my neighbor suspects something or maybe thinks I'm drunk. I'm intoxicated on life, on Gorlen! He was so amazing, he's truly the most beautiful man I've ever known. That long dark hair and those dancing amber eyes. How could I say no? I'll never look at that old Mess Hall the same way. I can't write much more other than to say I feel like I'm floating on a sun warmed cloud.
21 Lithe ~ I'm absolutely furious. I hung my new dress out to get some air and one of Old Lady P's cats decided to spray it! I have to get it cleaned before wearing it. It was second hand but still lovely, a deep violet color with lace. Damn that tom cat.
22 Lithe ~ An interesting thing occured at the Pony. I brought a dinner for Gorlen but he was not there. I struck up a conversation with a man from Bree called Arkold. As Gorlen did not arrive, I did not want to waste the food so I invited the nice man to eat with me. He was fine company and respectful though he did ask a lot of questions, especially about my relationship with Gorlen. Everyone thinks he's such a criminal but he can't be. Gorlen is far too lovely and funny to be a murderer or something horrid like that. Arkold asked me if he'd killed before and it did make me think. Sellswords are just that, they kill for money and as the man said, not all targets are necessarily bad people. I've been meaning to ask Gorlen about it but it slips my mind when I'm with him. I just can't see him being that way. I might have let it slip to Arkold about what I feel for Gorlen, I've not even dared admit it to myself. But it's hard to deny that I'm infatuated with him.
Our dinner was interrupted by a rude man who smelled of horse and Gorlen finally showed up. Arkold excused himself and went with the other to speak and Gorlen showed me what he had. A dress! It's so lovely, I dare not wear it doing everyday tasks nor will I hang it out where the cats can get to it. He's going to have to take me somewhere special so I can show it off. He did not have to but it was very nice of him or he's just tired of seeing me in this worn out dress. The rude man came back and he and Gorlen got into a conversation about a big brute he was hunting. Apparently the man is some noble monster who raped and killed people in Rohan. I suggested we try and bait him, since charging in and taking on a man his size was rather foolish. Gorlen looked rather torn between agreeing with me and not wanting me to be in harms way. I almost regretted the offer when I realized how big the man was. He could likely crush me like a bug but I'm confident that Gorlen would not allow it. I hope.
