I wish that the road wasn't so windy with full of rocks.
For ten days and nights I have been on the road with the pouring rain my face. I know ways to protect me from the harsh wind from the north though, certain trees protect me from the worst. But soon the rain and the wind will change to snow and the biting cold wind will ease. That is a comforting thought though.
My trainer and teacher in Imladris has given me this last task to fulfill my training as Warden. I need to patrol the borders between Bruinen Source in Misty Moutnain and Imladris for thirty days and nights, and make sure to keep out shadows and unwelcoming strangers. It makes my mind occupied and it makes me concentrated on the task and I also learn to control my fear, train my eye, being just as focused as an eagle.
There is a watchtower that I often enter also to see if I see movements in the distance, but on the late hours my thoughts often wanders...I often imagine he will come on his white horse brighten up by the full moon, with one goal, to find me...
There is no use to dream and let my heart be filled with grief. Earinlin seems to be lost to me. To long I have been wondering why he is not allowed to see me, and I haven't heard anything from him. My kindred seems to be afraid to tell me what happened, they seem to have suppressed the accident. They are restless and it worries me that something ill happened that may have nothing to do with me, nor Earinlin either. But certain actions taken place that can't be forgiven or redone and that no one wants to speak of. There is little I can do. But I believe and hope that the reason we are separated is for the best for us both for some reason. But I still do not understand.
My heart has chosen though, which makes it even harder, it grews doubt and despair inside me, but I can't let it overwhelms me. But I will wait, even if it will ages. But I foresee I will meet him again. Maybe not in this world perhaps, but someplace else... I still have hopes.
Regarding circumstances I do feel quite fine, I feel useful and I hope my teacher and trainer will be pleased with my work, and it also gives me time to read books, and study as a historian. After my task is done, I will help out as Warden, protecting the civilians on a more distant places. Perhaps go back to Lindon and search for Lithia the green-elf that has a certain love for the nature and the trees, just like me. Maybe she would advise me what to do or where to go since we communicate and understands eachother on same level.
The summoning voices and the alluring song seems to have rested for a while. this has happened when Earinlin is not present, it seems to disappear somehow. Which gives me somewhat peace but it scares me a little to. I just hope is a pure coincidence because it cannot be a burden that only sleeps when I miss someone so badly as I do. That does not make any sense to me...Why should I be troubled with this, only the times I finally feel complete and happy?
So many questions... Ahh well I can't write anymore, my fingers are cold..... I must go back to my task..
