Cases of ailments I treated today while father was too busy being passed out in the backroom:
Case: A woman had accidentaly (deliberately) dropped (thrown) boiling water on her child.
Treatment: Cleaning the burnt skin and adding ointments. Told the woman that if she continues to accidentally (deliberately) hurt her children, I will inform the Watch.
Case: A man had accidentally (while being drunk) hit his toe into a threshold, dislocating it in the worst possible way. Toe now pointing to the side
Treatment: Yanked the toe back to it's place and tied it against his other toes. Used perhaps an unnecessary amount of strength. He deserved it.
Case: Neighbour's eleven year old daughter had started to bleed, thinking she was dying. Her mother had failed to educate her about the 'wonderful perks' of womanhood
Treatment: Told her a few facts about life and how to hide the bleeding from her father, so that he doesn't marry her off. Patient was horrified beyond measure. Welcome to real world, kid.
Case: A woman claimed she had been cursed by a witch. The curse had forced her to commit adultery repeatedly.
Treatment: Put a leech on her brow 'to suck the cursed thoughts out of her mind'. Not an actual ailment - not an actual treatment. Just wanted to see a leech in the middle of her brow. It looked funny. Happiest patient today. Will probably remain loyal for few weeks.
