The day after I had written about the last events had been fruitful in a way.
I had gone to the Pony to see if I can find someone who I could at least speak concerning of the progress on how to deal with the Gondorian noble that had my old friend. The only familiar face that I have seen from there was Lanarieth, who was speaking to another person. Not wanting to be rude, I had gotten my whiskey and went to drink at the post. She joined me later on and we had conversed for a little while, making light jokes due to her saying that she had fallen down a hill in Bree. I'm rather glad that Neremnes wasn't like that, or else that would be another thing to worry about. She excused herself for a little while so I had taken the time to drink more of my whiskey. Viollett began to talk to me but she was soon met with my anger after she had the gall to kiss me even though I had someone in my life. I downed the rest of my whiskey and went on my way towards home.
I felt lucky that no one knew where I had lived as it gave me the opportunity to rest on my hammock for a little while, Ghost being beside me. I had woken up not too long after before making my way to the Mad Boar Inn once I had gotten ready, letting Ghost go hunting a bit. I should make a note to have Neremnes meet Ghost though I hope that she wouldn't be too scared of the gentle-wolf. Speaking of Neremnes, I saw her with her friends upon my arrival. This was my time to ask if she had wanted to accompany me to Rivendell, seeing as I had no luck of seeing Cesistya. I asked if I could speak to her outside to which she agreed. She had also agreed to join me on my trip and told her...only a little bit of the truth that I was going to go there. I felt like if I told her the truth to the fullest extent, she actually would probably be scared. Nevertheless, she was more than happy to join. We agreed that we would go as soon as we were both ready. After our conversation was over about it, we went to join the others once again.
We had conversed and spread tells and drank ale until Kristophor had showed up, bearing possible news that could have led to Arbiter. I excused myself and said that I would be back before I joined him outside. He told me of this Gondorian caravan at the outskirts and asked if Arbiter had any affiliation of the caravan. I unfortunately did not know if he did as I do not believe that we had spoken into that much of his life. He asked me if I was able to speak with Cesistya but I told him that Avilina told me that she had gone east with Bryn and Conrob. I told him that I was going to go to Rivendell, telling him that I'd also have someone along with me despite of not telling Neremnes about the full explanation. I told of him of my fear of her thinking that I am insane or something of the sort of I should tell her. He responded by telling me that it should be best that I should tell her everything so that the weight could be lifted and with hope, she could still accept me and be with me. I knew he was right so I had agreed on it and went back inside to see of talking to her once again. Unfortunately, she was not there, her friends saying that she had to go but told them to say bye to me. I was upset about missing her and not being able to say goodbye quick enough.
I went to go back to Bree and into the Pony before finding Kristophor talking to, to my surprise, Cesistya. Honestly, why do I often listen to Avilina talking sometimes when it's something that is important? Anyways, I asked of her as well as Kristophor if we could speak at the back of the Pony. We had walked there before Kristophor and I told her of the matter at hand concerning of Amrun, though I didn't give her the name. I am truly thankful to have her as a friend as she had told us that she wanted to give help by seeing of my friend's predicament. It's now up to of when we would take action and what we would do. Kristophor left us eventually, Ces and I being the only ones in the room now. It was at that point that I have told her the main secret that I had that I didn't tell anyone yet. I told of her that even though things were fine and people said I shouldn't say so, I told her of the guilt that I had with every single person that I had lost during my life alone. My parents, Agreis, a few other friends as well. I felt like sooner or later, I will hit a breaking point if I truly lost another person. Maybe I am truly a troubled person like Raven had said. Not very much to my surprise, Ces had the right things to say about it, cheering me up a bit. After the talk, she had left.
I went back to the main room and settled down a bit before seeing that a man was sitting by himself. I walked to join him and eventually started to talk with him. His name was Steven and he originally was from the North Downs. We exchanged stories and words about our profession and dreams. It was rather nice of having a decent conversation from someone close to around here. He went to bed later on and I had gone back to home.
There had been so many things happening lately, it is a bit overwhelming but I can't stop now. I have to make sure that everything is settled, even if it has to take a while.
