Found:
Nothing of interest.
The plans are complete, at least insofar as they can be. The price is paid, at least the deposit is. It took a hefty chunk of my current funds and the night I had promised, but the agreement has been struck concerning future remunerations.
I wonder now if it was worth it. Oh, he seemed pleased enough with our hours together. Not so much myself. 'Tis not that he lacked in skill, stamina or girth. Well, maybe he lacked somewhat in skill, but no less so than others I have had the dubious pleasure of amusing myself with. The problem, I think, is that my mind was not upon him but another. There was a face before me, smiling and lustful, but it was not the one I wished to see there. The shape was wrong, the feel and smell and sense of it all was wrong.
Foolishness.
Our deal done, I have set my feet back to the road and on toward what once lay behind me. For good or ill, I now begin my journey in earnest.
Will it bring the peace I so desire?
Will it allow me the clarity to better turn my gaze to the future?
I must hope so, for the alternative is far too depressing to contemplate.
Alone I was born. Alone I stand. Alone I travel. Alone I will face what comes.
But before that day, whilst my heart remains beating and my tongue remains mobile, I will sing. I will sing to the horses, to the grass, to the sky. I will sing to the spectres both present and past. I will sing.
