My days continue to be perplexing and strange, though not in unpleasant ways.
I made good on my promise to return to the candle maker's shop. She showed me about the place, showed me where things were kept, and asked if I'd ever made a candle before. I told her I had not. The process she showed me was not complicated, but rather one that requires careful patience and a steady hand. I told her she need not pay me if I cannot produce candles that meet her standards. She tutted softly and said she would pay me for the learning process, regardless. I felt sad that she should waste her coin on someone who was not well-trained. She was still wearing black, and I was reminded that it is better never to love someone, for you will only be left to grieve when they inevitably die.
Cormac continues to linger about the fields outside of town. He came too close to the gate yesterday, following behind me, and one of the guards shouted and brandished a short sword in the air. Cormac snarled and bared his teeth, and I hurriedly shooed him away into the trees before they could do anything worse. Dear hound, he must be more careful. I don't know what I would do if harm befell him.
I've seen the Hooded Man again. Yesterday, the inn was terribly crowded, and though our eyes met across the room, I was not able to speak to him. Oddly enough, his friend, the Masked Man, came upon me as I retreated to the back of the inn for some quiet. We spoke a little, and he asked questions, as folk sometimes do, and I avoided them, as I always do. He said something, though, that has lingered in my thoughts since. Something about Aeruthuil's feelings, and how they were not hidden from his friend. I am not certain of what was meant by this comment. I had hoped to see Aeruthuil again last night, but I did not.
Today was more fortunate. He continues to appear out of nowhere, like a shadow, and when I turned from the counter, with my drink in my hand, there he was. He graced me with more than one smile, and said something to make my face flush, though I can't recall what it was. I told him I would meet him later for a talk, but somehow, the time got away from me, and I fell asleep in my room, waking to find it dark and still outside.
I will apologize when I see him again. A part of me is fearful and anxious, and I know that I have little idea of what I may be getting myself into. I tell myself that it is nothing. A walk in the woods, a few words exchanged. Polite niceties, nothing more.
But I know there is more to it. I have a name, a face, a voice in my head now, when I am alone.
I'm afraid I am falling into the trap that I have so carefully avoided all these years.
