I have taken up residence in the chair in the hallway. I remember that I used to spend much time here, finding it quieter and more peaceful than all the commotion in the common room and indeed it feels right to be seated in this place.
I have seen one or two fights go by - arguments over silly things. Watching them makes me wonder if I was indeed quite mad for a time, or if I was the only sane person in this house of insanities. What manner of man draws a sword on another simply because someone spoke with his wife? What manner of wife allows such beastly behaviour in her spouse? Why does it take five men to chase away one for such inane reasons? All these questions and more are begged the longer I watch the denizens of the Prancing Pony go about their daily lives.
I met Eaerthryll recently. I dimly recall her as being a kind woman who made Raruccu happy. Thankfuly, it would seem that my memory in that respect is not wrong for she was very pleasant company and readily forgave my foibles in recent times. She invited me to dinner on an unspecified evening, which is nice in two respects: firstly the invitation itself is rather heartwarming and secondly her having placed no date upon it means that I can put it off for as long as possible.
It is not through dislike or disrespect that I do so. It is, as it is with all the others, fear of what I might find. I have yet to see Raruccu, although I know that I should. He has always been so good to me and now I avoid him because I dread the thought that things between us have changed. It is shameful behaviour on my part, I am all too aware of that, and yet I cannot shake the feeling that I have long since ruined every friendship I ever had.
The lack of surety in this respect is suffocating but a part of me thinks that it is better to remain uncertain than have my worst fears confirmed. Perhaps I am naught more than a coward.
