Found:
Peace of mind.
Concern.
I haven't felt this good in years!
Admittedly, the hefty bout of vomiting briefly detracted from my buoyancy, but even that was short lived. By the time I'd purged my stomach and had a drink to wash away the taste of death, everything was wonderful again! Truly, the world has regained its colour and I have regained my love for life!
Toddir and I had a good chat. I omitted details of my experience of course, I'm not sure I'm ready to go into that with anyone, but I am pleased with the results. Annoyingly, it seems that not only did he read my letter to Rhaug, left in the event of my demise, but also allowed him to take it regardless of the fact that I still breathe. That complicates matters, but 'tis nothing that cannot be dealt with!
Toddir asked me what I will do and the truth is that there is no good choice to make here, as is often the way with that man. Should I remain in town to await his return, I'll not be doing enough to ease his mind as to my survival. Should I seek him out, I'll be placing myself in danger unnecessarily and making him feel worse in so doing. I propose instead to take Steel out for a ride each day and, should I come across him or he decide to make himself known to me, I'll deal with the matter accordingly.
In the meantime, I've some vengeance to plot upon my dear Toddir for his transgression and some feelings to sort out concerning myself, my place in life, my future and Rowan. Odd as it may be, I'm rather looking forward to it!
I know that nothing going forward will be easy, but then my life was never meant for that. The greatest successes come after the greatest struggles and I, for one, choose to face what lies ahead with a smile on my lips, a song in my heart and mirth in my soul!
