Found:
Why do I even bother with this list anymore?
I loafed around Trestlebridge today under the hope that familiarity will erase the still-thankful smiles and undeserved fondness of its residents. Time enough has passed for the people to have forgotten what I did. Why don't they?
It was as I stood staring into space, contemplating the current lack of direction in my life, that I was happened upon by a woman who took a particular interest in my trousers of all things. We spoke briefly on their origin and the fashions I had come across in Rhun some years ago, along with the pros and cons of a woman wearing such form revealing attire, before she admitted her vocation as a tailor and leatherworker.
Perfect!
Though she appeared well-dressed herself - and why wouldn't she, given that she makes her own clothes! - it seemed to me that we might help one another. I have few clothes - I don't need many for my purposes - and those I do have are all in shades of grey and rather worn by this point. It occurs to me that greys suit me well enough and have been necessary for my past adventures, but times have changed. I have resolved to given up ruin stalking, thus blending hues are no longer needed. Time to branch out into the spectrum, then!. The woman, Audre by name, has agreed to make me several new shirts in a colour more suited to my complection. Granted, I certainly don't need as many as I have asked for, but I intend to pay over the odds anyway.
Perhaps altruism is more easily achieved - and more easily weathered - when ones motivations are concealed behind a veneer of necessity or selfishness? I can but hope.
I found her to be quite an agreeable person. Gentle in her mannerisms and humour. She spoke briefly of her late husband, the love she held for him and still holds. I must admit, I had little enough to add to that conversation. I've never really had anyone never mind lost them, so whilst I can make the right manner of sympathetic noise, I can hardly claim to understand her pain. Still, she bears her burden with a quiet dignity that I can only describe as inspiring.
After she departed, I found myself at a loss. I am, for all intents and purposes, quite lost. What am I doing here, beyond waiting for nothing in particular and the turning of the season? Now that I've resolved to give up on my prior activities, I am without a path in life. What do I do now?
I hate being idle. That way lies boredom and from boredom comes the desire to find the next horizon. I need something to do. I must find something to do.
