Found:
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. I don't know why. I don't know what's caused it. I just know that I feel somehow lighter today than I have in... years.
Goodness, has it been so long?!
My breakfast consisted of stale buns and tepid water. I stubbed my toe on a hammer that I'd left lying in the middle of the room and I spilled the last of the tealeaves I'd bought all over the floor, but I didn't care in the least. Still I smiled. Even when the plaster on the wall between the front room and the spare bedroom fell down, bringing a sizable chunk of the woodwork and leaving behind a massive hole in the wall, I just sat and laughed!
I felt good enough, in fact, that I decided I could deal with Loakee's stroppiness and, whilst going outside for some water, snagged myself one of the local lads who's been hanging around for the last few days. It's adorable how they dare one another to come closer to the so-called haunted house but none of them ever get within a few feet! Message sent, I returned to my chores.
I honestly wasn't expecting the man to turn up as quickly as he did. In a day or two, perhaps, once he'd worked some of the mulishness out of his system. Subsequently, the rap at the door startled me into knocking a pile of tools off the table, one of which landed on my foot. Still not enough to ruin my mood!
Nor was his business-like demenor or the tiresome comments he continues to make about my lack of femininity simply because I favour comfort over aesthetics. I don't dress to please anyone but myself. Heck, if it wasn't so damned cold, and I wasn't in danger of getting splinters in places they should never be, I'd happily strut around this wreckage of a house completely naked!
Maybe in summer...
The lesson went well, I thought. I continue to see signs that I was not wrong about him. All those doubts of mine, about him, about me, about everything else, are slowly but surely slipping away. I'm getting there, piece by piece.
Too late, perhaps, but that hardly matters now.
Focus on the positives. Find solutions to the negatives, but focus upon the positives!
