Found:
Well, shit. Just... shit.
Of all the things I expected to happen today, that was not one of them. Or two of them. Or even three.
Rahvic returned from his job. I was glad to see him as he was to see me. Alas, it would have been better to see him healthy and strong. Instead, he's taken an arrow to the knee whilst transporting what turned out to be poison to Trestlebridge and is now facing the prospect of being forced to give up his life as a hunter. I sympathise. Having no choice but to give up what you know and love is never easy. I'd have stayed to help him care for his wound but.. well.. firstly, I'm no healer. 'Tis likely I'd only make things worse. Secondly, my word was already given to Haritha. I can't break it.
It's always been easy with him. Easy to joke. easy to laugh. Easy to speak. I hope his admission and my subsequent rejection doesn't change anything. I like the way things are between us. I like having someone I can call brother. I like that feeling of... family. Real family. No blood binds us, but still, he's been more a sibling to me in these short months than any of my real relatives ever were. I don't want that to change.
Am I being selfish again?
Crow dropped by the Wolf. It was pleasant to see him again. Strange though it is, I don't feel the need to hide behind my multitude of masks with him. No facades necessary. Well, maybe a few minor ones.
Owena arrived shortly thereafter. Why she's waited until now to ask me why I've not been to the bakery is something only she knows. I had no wish to talk about it at that time. I've told her all she needs to know for the moment. Best not to ruin the mood by upsetting the woman unnecessarily. Besides, there's a chance it won't matter soon enough anyway.
I'm not as arrogant as I let people think. I'm not as blind or stupid either. I'm getting old, I'm getting slow and I ache most days now. I know that this mission is not going to be easy for me. I know that it's more dangerous than I let on. I know what I face. I'm not hopeful of my chances here, but I put a brave face on it because that's what I do. There's a reason I told Haritha that my fee was payable only upon my return.
Ah, no point in dwelling on it! Never enter a battle weighed down by the belief that you'll lose. If you do, you'll already have beaten yourself. The same holds true for everything else in life; believe that you'll succeed and you most likely will. Believe that you'd fail, and you'll almost definitely fail.
I'll ride. I'll ride to Evendim, find Emmet, find these masks and return triumphant! And if I don't quite believe that today, then I'll damn well need to make myself believe it by the time I get there.
Trestlebridge is just over the rise. Time to smile and lie to myself until I'm suitably convinced.
