[Haradric writing in a small book]
Why.. Why do I feel like my world is falling apart. I am surrounded by fear and the only cause is the criminal. People are scared and so am I. I'm terrified. I don't know how to solve the argument I had with Briony.. I don't know what to do if Wolfshead ever found me and unleashes vengeance for my part in his conviction..
I haven't seen Owena for some days but i've heard she's safe. Unlike others I know. Unlike myself. I so want to defend my friends but I can't.. Yes I have a knife but.. My knee. I can't take it any longer. The suffering, the weakness. It's slowly ripping me apart. I feel like i'm losing a battle that has constantly been raging inside me. A sea of emotion every time I dare look over my shoulder, a bit back in my past where I remember being near Silver as she sat in that chair while Owena tried to make her bakery as perfect and we.. We would laugh. I haven't had a real laugh since then. It brings back this urgent need to take the bottle but I don't. The constant pain inside my head tells me to stop and keep it up. I am a prisoner of my own mind, I feel trapped, waiting.
Briony her father.. Killed. I could not believe it. It must be 'him', he did it.. It should be 'him'. I tried to offer her my help but she pushes me away every time I even think about trying. I feel so weak, in so much pain.
Please, Silver, come back. Make me smile again. Even if you were joking about courting death. I miss you, your brother, still waiting.
