Day 7 / Alone in a crowd

[Haradric writing on the 7th page]

Something is amiss..

Old faces pop up wherever I go, as if the old comes back to the new? I do not know. It is strange. You have returned Enidh, although not for me, but for an even higher purpose, for your people. I told you to guide the way and surely enough I will recieve two punches from Dernwynn and Silver by even saying "Yes." , perhaps rightly so. I always say yes to adventure. Even when my leg is barely attached and my torso almost split in half. I think Derny will not appreciate all her work undone. Well.. Not all her work.. But that is something not for this diary. It was pleasant to be in her care, her bed felt warm and the bath she provided? Delightful.. But she too is alone, however, I do not think it is something I can help with. Why do I always want to help? Rahvic why? You always make things worse for yourself, why do you always say "Yes"...

I will help you, Eglain. Even if I have no limbs I will roll myself by your side to guide you through the Barrows. Will that scare the wights? I hope so, I do not like the wights. Perhaps I can Dernwynn to come again? No, no, no.. The two women together will brew trouble. 

Something tells me there is something amiss, something in my heart tells me so.. Of late I have not slept alone. A few faces without the knowledge in their mind. 'Red' will not like that. I simply feel alone, I do not feel the comfort some provide even if it is that of the touch. I crave for something, but I do not know what.

Sigebyrht seemed happy with my return but I do not know why. Is it because I too am exiled from my land? I hate his land, I will never go there again because of my torture. The pain from my slavery. I have seen many beaten for the fun of it but not in Rohan alone. The man is kind, always greets me, perhaps I should smile more often in his presence, perhaps that might look friendly enough to keep his questions at bay. 

I do not like questions, they are like spears poking in my head so it can bleed truth. Lying has become addictive and I use it in many situations nowadays. I do not think I will stop it as long as no-one finds out what is happening around them.. Isn't that right, Vanden?