Found:
The day has been a heavy one. We've both tried to keep it light-hearted, but we knew what was coming. Despite my best efforts to pretend otherwise, he saw through my guise and asked me about it. I tried to avoid it, tried to distract us both, but it didn't work. I ended up answering him anyway, though I did manage to prevent it from turning into a long and uncomfortable conversation, at least.
Instead, we ended up on a different uncomfortable conversation. Isn't it funny how these things work? I nearly told him. I nearly told him everything. I'm glad that I didn't. It's not a lack of trust for him, or some deep-seated desire to keep this truth buried. It's simply that giving voice to such things would have most definitely spoiled what little time we had left on this journey. I didn't want it to end on such a sour note.
Of course, it nearly did.
I hoped to make things easier for him. I hoped to take the burden of expectation from his shoulders by not holding him to that promise of a duck dinner. Somehow, this had quite the opposite effect and, unfortunately, it upset him.
I think I managed to salvage the situation, though. A hug and then, what should have been a quick playful peck from me turned into exactly the thing we had been avoiding indulging in since this journey began! I'm not going to complain, not at all. I can't say that I didn't enjoy it, that I didn't want it or that I would have preferred something else. Such claims would be lies of the highest degree!
It does, however, make things a little more difficult in the long run.
I'm under no illusions here. I know that if it came down to a choice, it wouldn't be me. But the less rational part of me keeps hoping that I'm wrong.
(It was a kiss. Nothing more. Get your minds out of the gutters, and instead try to wrap your heads around the fact that, as a diary entry, I'm not going to spell everything out for you. Nor should I have to. This is the character's thoughts and feelings written from the character's perspective, not your fap bait.)
