Found:
It has been a very strange day. Unpleasant for the most part.
Rowan left early to find breakfast. It was odd for him to be awake before me and I did not hear him leave. Although his gesture was but a debt owed - to his mind, anyway - it was not unappreciated. The cold terminology does little to alleviate my beliefs. I must assume that is by design.
After he departed, I went into Bree. I found Dernwynn there. Her greeting of, "Ah, you're not dead after all," really rather set the tone for the rest of the day, it seems. She introduced me to her betrothed, who lingered only briefly, before questioning me about the nature of my love life. I don't have one as such. I explained the situation to her, at which point she suggested that he should be castrated and offered to "help" me with this meeting with Woad. I know that her intention was kind - she is being a supportive friend in her own fashion - but that is not what I want. I harbour no ill-will for the tracker and would have no harm to come to her, not even a "stomach upset". As for castrating Rowan... no. Just no.
I left to see Elias after that and found Aeruthuil to be in his company. My mood sank further. 'tis not that either man is abhorrent to me, just that our conversations were not easy. Reminders of less pleasant days. Candid speaking upon unpleasant truths. And that bastard Ranger had the gall to call me fragile and then complain when later my words cut him as deeply as his had me.
Fragile.
Certainly, my body is not as strong as once it was. My leg lets me down when the cold comes, my shoulder won't stay where it's meant to. I hurt. All the time. And I'm not so young anymore. This is all true. But what of the trials I faced to get this battered? What of all that I went through, all that I survived to come this far? To stand here now when a lesser woman who walked my path would have died decades ago? Fragile, my perfectly sculpted arse!
But I wonder now if it is just my body that is failing me.
Later conversations with Ruemax and Tilton revealed to me gaps in my memory. Events and discussions that I do not quite recall. Is that it, then? Am I losing my mind at long last?
Or am I simply distracted? So pressured by the current issues and concerns that I am unable to properly focus upon what came before?
More questions to add to this evergrowing list of uncertainties.
