Found:
That tea helped. Perhaps a little too much in the end, for I slept like the dead and awoke with a brain like fluff. Luckily, Rowan had exhausted himself so thoroughly the night before as, despite my clumsiness, he didn't stir as I tied tiny bells into his beard whilst he slept.
He was not amused by this.
I was. It was adorably hilarious
He brightened up again quickly, though. After breakfast, we exchanged gifts. I'm still not sold on the one I gave to him, but he seemed to like it. The one he gave to me, however... I absolutely adore it! It is, as I had asked for, a quill, but so very unlike any that I have seen before. It is long and pale gray, and when moved just right, it catches the light in shades of green and silver. It is breathtakingly beautiful! He tells me it is the tail feather from a cockerel. I must assume that its previous owner is a particularly handsome bird!
Talk turned again to the journey to Erebor. He reiterated his dislike of my coming along, saying that he didn't wish me to make my leg worse. I pointed out that the future held many possibilities and that this could be my last chance to travel any decent distance. He relented, though he made me promise not to overdo it, and not to hide my pain from him. I can live with that.
It's not easy to admit such weakness, even to him, but I am learning.
Dinner at the Hunting Lodge was... interesting in all the right ways!
We finally got that duck dinner, which he quite enjoyed, and spoke on several different topics. The matter of children was brought up again but set aside for revisiting at a later date. His wish for work, and uncertainty over what he actually wishes to turn his hand to, also proved to be an interesting topic. But a little later, as I sat upon his lap, staring into those stormy grey eyes that I adore so much, he told me that he thinks he might be in love with me.
Might.
It is not a definitive statement, but it's good enough for me! It was good enough to convince me that I was right to stick with him. It was good enough to convince me that everything we have been through was worth it. It was good enough that I verbally reciprocated my feelings.
And why wouldn't I?
He knew anyway. How could he not? It's been so plainly obvious for so very long that even people who had never seen us together knew the truth of that from little more than a passing mention of the man!
Between me, myself and I, we have fought it, denied it, ran from it, sought distraction and replacement elsewhere... and ultimately failed at each. Now, I just want to embrace it, to embrace him and all that might arise from this.
I'm happier than I have ever been, and I'm loving every minute of it!
