Intro: Jamar, my son.

My son.

Most likely you will read this page after having read all the problems, joys and falls before your arrival in the diary I will one day give to you, if nothing happens to either of us, but let us not think of such.

You are young now, so am I. I would have not thought myself a father and Silver most likely is still in disbelief. Derny, happy in a way I think, that she is not alone in parenthood. Cyriah who has, even though she barely knows me, who I was, what I have done, started caring for you and showing you the warmth of a mother, I do not know if with all this, I am confident enough to call myself fit to be called a father.

There is no book, no scroll, no letter on how to raise a child that appeared in my life as swift as the wind. Jamar, forgive me if I am too stubborn to show you the love you deserve. If I am too harsh in my dealings.. I am as lost as you are at this age, a whole new world. New dangers, new needs, many new things..

Jamar, know that now you have a family that will never let you go and here in my diary, look through my own eyes as I now percieve the troubles I will face. You will grow to hate me, because you are different than all the others. You will hate me for raising you up in a world like this, that others will seek to bring you low and make you feel as if you are weak. Beat me for it if you must, shout at me, curse me in as many curses you can muster.

I am your father, Jamar, it is my duty to take a beating, so that you should not.