Sewyn was gone. After months of searching, just as she had for Owena, the thought struck her like a rock.
She had tried to warn him on many occasions. Tried to get him to at least try a little more at being safer. Why, their first meeting was due to him walking directly into an ambush! So many times she had thought she lost him. She'd wept, laid awake, torn at her hair in an attempt to release the thoughts and fears for him.
Now they had all come true and she could no longer keep him safe. He was gone. That evil man, Delugoth, had killed him no doubt.
Once this thought had struck her, she became a closed shell. Everything she did was mechanical. She had no memory of how many days had even past since. No memory of what she did in those days. She could speak simple sentences. Eat. Drink. Sleep. But emotion did not exist. Lissi had essentially been dead herself.
Until that night. She had been drinking by the fire. Staring blankly into the flames, no thought nor feeling she could recall. Hearing a name had caused her to turn. She knew that name. Some Halfling named Kithri walked over, inviting Lissi to join them. She pulled her eyes from the face which seemed to be one she knew. She couldn't remember what she said to the Hobbit.
He said her name. "Lissi." Yes, she had that name. It belonged to her and she belonged to it. But she didn't feel like Lissi until she was adressed as such. Yes. Yes, it was her. And his name fell into place again as she stared at his face.
"Qais." She was suddenly embracing him, burying her face in his chest. She apologized. For leaving? For not being herself? There were so many things she was apologizing for. He'd wrapped his arms around her and chuckled, telling her not to dare apologize. He was glad she was safe.
Yes. Safe. She was safe. Then again, she wasn't the one in danger. Every face of every person she deeply cared for floated through her mind. All were gone. Every single one, except for the one hugging her so tightly, yet so gentle.
She suddenly came face to face with that truth. She could no longer not feel it. The sudden pain of realizing she'd lost so many she loved ripped through her chest in a physical pain which made it hard to breathe. Tears coursed down her face though she tried to keep them at bay.
He couldn't see her like this. She couldn't have people worrying about her. She apologized again as she pushed out of his arms and fled the inn.
She would have to prove she was alright next time. Because at that moment, it was so out of her grasp she could not even fake it.
