Seated on the bluff, high above Bree, I pet my poor Eduwiges as she snores lightly, the vast amount of ale she had consumed finally getting the better even of her mighty frame. Sister Addie has just ridden away, returning to the homestead to prepare for her expedition to Ered Luin and I am taking advantage of the thin, cold sunlight of the morning to try and bring my journal and mind up to date.
I will set aside the details of the Battle of the Spike for a time, my foolish failures and overweening pride are still too raw for me to linger on comfortable. In addition, my brief time elsewhere, a guest of my beloved Heartbreaker, has left me feeling disjointed, visions and memories colliding in my mind until I fear I have quite terrified those nearest to me with my musing. For that reason alone part of me is gratified that I have not encountered Cyndwin as of yet since the battle, for the scar I now bear will frighten her enough, I would not wish her to presume me mad as well. Perhaps in some way I am indeed mad and I seek to hide that from she who knows me best?
At any rate, I ache from her absence and have so much, too much to tell her. I tell myself we will have many nights under the stars as we travel to Imladris for me to unburden my soul to her...yet thinking of her smile at this moment fills me with such longing for her I weep from the very soul.
I have heard communication from my sister Xandilif, and she says she has found the Kobold Reznik again which is a mercy, but she shows no sign of returning to Bree or to Belfalas either. I suspect she is staying away until the claw marks her face now bears from the Blood-witch Lyr have faded at least somewhat..and I think as well she wishes to avoid encountering Masin the paramour until he has come more to grips with what he faced within that glamour. Her own failure to identify the true nature of our foe likely also keeps her away. Time will tell, but honestly I simply lack the strength to worry overly much concerning my sister right now.
Nearer to Bree, my thoughts I find touch upon Small Finchley. She is truly, as the lady Aulemessa said, a glimmer of pure light. I met her for the first time since the battle the other day in the Pony, in the company of Hawke, the Lady Aulemessa and a gathering of the dwarves she takes such delight in, including Maddoct, Son of Haddoct. Her main topic of discussion at that time were the honors recently bestowed upon her by the little folk of the Shire, giving her a position of no small importance, as the Queen of Taters, which are a much beloved food stuff in those parts. As token of her office they bestowed on her a large of number of said "taters" and the dwarves were merrily preparing her heraldry and titles when I invaded their party, much to the amusement of my Urchin and the Lady Aulemessa.
She then went on to explain to me that two local worthies of Bree (I believe there are only two, though there may be more) were to mate publically in a few days, and that many were invited to the rituals. I assume that after the actual mating there will be some sacrifices, likely symbolic, toward fertility and perhaps a mass expression of passions, along with feasting and frivolity and, as we are in Breeland, brawling and abuses against trees and large animals. Small Finchley and Hawke shall accompany one another to these rituals, and explained that they intend to partake in dancing as well as public and private drunkenness. It did my heart good, as well as those of the dwarves present, to see the pleasure those two took in one another's company, and as they departed for Hawke to walk her to her domicile, the Lady Aulemessa made her statement that they are both glimmers of pure light, which I must agree with.
More than that, the venerable Lady Aulemessa, who may have beheld the light of the great lanterns, let alone that of the two trees, praised the heroism of Hawke in the battle and bid both himself and Small Finchley to call her Grandmother. I felt that my heart could burst with pride witnessing this, and saw that both of them were properly moved by that gesture from the esteemed one.
As I prepared to depart the Pony, I encountered a son of Numenor who at first glance seemed to be strangely young, but upon reflection seems of maturity for those in Breeland, who called himself Baymon. He was newly employed by the guard, and had frightened Hawke away when he first entered due to the heavy shackles that hung from his belt, invoking foul memories for my Urchin of the monsters who sought to dictate the laws of Bree. Speaking with him, however, it was clear that he had joined the local Guard out of a noble desire to do good, though I feared that innocence would soon be abused by his corrupt fellows.
I passed the next few nights wandering the Chetwood, needing to feel the forest breathing around me, and upon my return to the Pony I encountered Masin the paramour on the cobblestones outside. His ordeal with Lyr the Twiceborn was still unfolding to his guarded memories, so his mind was not at peace, yet as is ever his way he was so kind and caring that I was drawn to his protective nature and soon found myself curled against his chest, drawing upon his strength. I mentioned certain memories I had of him, and he confirmed that we had indeed battled a half orc to free my sister Addie and sweet Nethrida, but as for the other memory he turned quite scarlet and said he was certain he would have remembered if that had occurred, so I felt more grounded in time knowing that may be yet to come.
As we spoke, I noticed a woman I recognized, having seen her near the first refuge where we had taken Addiela and Nethrida, which had been called a Soothery but had mainly seemed full of beds and dwarves. I hailed her, and much to my amazement, she was named Tater, clearly after the halfling delicacy though she was passing tall for a halfling, despite a troubling limp. As I suspected, she did indeed keep a business near that establishment, also filed with beds and Longbeards which seems to be a very profitable industry these days. We spoke some about the upcoming Mating, which she seemed quite shocked by, stating that Marriages in Bree certainly do not involve mating, and seemed quite offended to think that they would. I should have asked her then to account for the absurd number of small Breelanders, but since she was becoming so agitated I thought it best to let that matter pass. She did eventually calm however, and I soon realized that she had a strong sense about her of Small Finchley and indeed, when questioned she divulged she did know my dear friend quite well, not surprising on refection as her name was Tater. In fact, it seems that it is in her establishment where Small Finchley sleeps amidst the beds and the Longbeards.
Soon after I came to that discovery, Miss Tater had to depart, I would imagine to tend to the dwarves and the beds, to be replaced by my sister Addie and dear Anna of the Ruby Hair, headed off to another Deportment Lesson. Masin and I spoke to them for a time, until it became clear that sister Addie was growing more and more concerned about the ordeal Masin had faced, and after Anna suggested they abandon the lesson for the day, Addie and Masin departed so that the Paramour could explain in some small way to her what had happened to him, in privacy.
Small Finchley was departing from the Pony just as they rode off and I was most gratified to see her again. We discussed the mating for a bit, and then I told her how very pleased I was that she would be watching the mating with Hawke as I knew she found strong favor in his eyes, as he did in hers. This caused some upset for her, wondering how many knew of these facts, and she seemed concerned that I would be cross with her concerning Hawke, as she had heard we were involved intimately. I explained that I was proud and honored to enjoy Hawke's love and passion, but that did not preclude him from loving or sharing passion with others, nor would it ever. I could never hurt him that way in the name of love. This seemed at first to startle her, but then please her greatly and I explained to her that there is no bond that can draw two closer as the best of friends then to share a love, and that few were as deserving of her love as my Urchin and it would please me so should he have it. She was gratified by this and finally opted to stop calling me Miss, and embraced me tightly, calling me Xan and thanked me most earnestly for helping her so much. I believe she then had to go due to her health, since her face had been bright red for much of our conversation, almost exactly as Masin had appeared earlier, and I must assume the fever finally grew too much for her and she departed to sleep with dwarves until she regained her strength. However she did seem to skip during her departure and seemed most elated about something, so all was well. Watching her depart I remember a similar conversation I had had some months or years before hand that had not ended nearly so well, and I prayed that Elbereth bestow her love and protection on both Hawke and Small Finchley.
Entering the Pony, I came upon the young man I had met the day before, Baymon of the Guard, who was earnestly romancing a pretty young newcomer called Maeredae of Rohan. I spoke to them both for a time, during which a man came up and declared that I may pay him money to "sample his wares" and declare them top notch for any others who inquired. I expressed amazement as I had only ever encountered women in the Pony who offered the pleasure of their bodies for pay, and to discover a man, especially a grizzled veteran in an absurd hat, doing the same was refreshing. I assured him that I was not tempted at that moment to lay with him and did not know the merits or lack thereof of his manly "wares", but should anyone ask, I would certainly send the custom his way to test out his "wares" which seemed to confuse him, and he soon departed due to the attention of Baymon of the Guard, though I think at that moment the only "wares" which interested him belonged to young Maeredae.
We spoke for a few moments as a trio, until my sister Addie and my beautiful Lynx, Eduwiges both arrived. Soon after that, I discovered the tragic secret of why Baymon had come to Bree, as his clan had been discovered to bake the flesh of people into their bread due to an ancient family recipe. However his strong sense of justice had led him to the Guard, despite this tragic past. Addie and I both cautioned him that the Guard was well known for being corrupt and largely negligent, but such talk only made him angry so we let the matter slip. This was partly due not only to his rising annoyance, but that soon upon her arrival Eduwiges had begun to drink heavily, and Addie and I both begun to fear for her.
Realizing that Eduwiges was growing loud and Addie was becoming more and more stern concerning her drinking and that we were interfering with whatever romance was blossoming between Baymon and Maeredae, I begged their pardon and took my two companions outside, guiding them up to the ancient promontory above the Pony where we could speak in private.
Once we were alone, Eduwiges tearfully confessed that she had been drinking because she felt that she had failed, that she had disarmed herself without understanding why, and had failed all of her friends, which resulted in her watching me slain before her due in no small part to what she viewed as her cowardice and defeat.
Needless to say such a confession broke my heart, and I took my proud lynx in my arms and wept with her and explained that no, the failure had not been hers, but had been on my part, and that of Xandilif that we had failed to see Mans' deception and had led everyone to the edge of ruin.
I then comforted both my friends that I was indeed fine, and in no danger..just a bit uneven at the moment, and that they need not spare any further concern save to ensure I did not humiliate myself overly much.
A combination of relief at finally confessing the fears that had been gnawing at her and the half cask of Ale she had consumed soon had her sleeping, her head in my lap as I spoke with sister Addie regarding her plans and expectations. It did my heart good to feel us united again as sisters, and though I still fear for what her choices may result in, I accept, thanks to Hawke's guidance, that she has the freedom to choose as she will, even if I cannot see the sense of the options she takes.
Now, after Addie has ridden forth, I comfort poor Eduwiges as she sleeps and watch Bree awakening below. Once this mating is past, and I have been able to speak with Cyndwin, the time for our small party to depart for Imladris will be at hand, It seems, according to Hawke, that it is already assumed in Rivendell that I am dead, so this will be an interesting homecoming indeed.
