I sit quietly in the alley, writing by torchlight from passing Guardsmen. So much to add before departing..and I know my departure must be soon. I have delayed too long, much too long.
The Lady Arahen returned to Bree today, and I was amazed and overjoyed to see her but she brought fell tidings. The Lady Ahmo, Heroine of Kheledul, struggles in a malaise caused by her close proximity to Mans and that accursed ring...Sindya, Ring of Artifice. Even though Mans was driven from his host body, and is now a fell spirit helpless in the wind for a time...the ring was not recovered, and seems to be striking at the Lady Ahmo from the shadows.
If it can bend and trouble the mind of even one as mighty as the Lady Ahmo...what more horrors could it be wrecking on others? Is Hawke safe, as save for Ahmo, he came the closest to the ring. I would hope that sweet Mother Merileth and Lilta, who stood with him as he strike down the vile Dourhand, would have protected him..but who truly knows when one faces the works of the enemy.
Who knows what else is illusion, a foul trick created to confuse and foul our spirits.How long have I been a pawn of that Ring? It convinced me of the truth in Cilyniton's words years ago now, when it was all a complex and hurtful lie to gain my trust and love.
Who else is lying to me?
Can I trust the love of any around me now? Even those who have sworn to journey with us to Imladris?
Eduwiges of Farnham joined us bravely in battle in Kheledul, and has pledged her love and duty to me. She seems stainless and sincere, but so did Cilyniton as she thanked me for my aid. I cannot believe she is a trap designed to destroy me...I cannot.
And what of young Maeredae of Rohan, who came into our circle after the battle? She traveled to Bree bereft of family, seeking a new life and I readily offered her my hand, and soon called her sister and more. I saw that she was wounded by a sad past yet looking forward with love and hope...but did not Cilyniton seem just the same, and it was all a lie to ensnare. I cannot feel any falsehood in her. Yes she is young and driven by the dramas and contradictions of her age, but how could I believe that she is evil?
Or is that confidence born of Sindya and not my heart? Are those words the words of the enemy to lower my guard yet again?
Who knows if anyone I meet now are truly what they seem to be, if anything is what it seems to be?
All of Bree now feels false, like a herd of grass chewing liars, who smile into my eyes and cut me down with cruel words and taunts as soon as my back is turned.
Is anyone I believed to be a friend truly so? Do I truly possess the love of any or just their scorn and secret mockery?
Am I truly even what I believed myself to be?
I must put Bree behind me..I must take those I feel I can believe in and leave this lastborn ruin of falsehoods and base rumor.
I must return to the road..this was never my home. I was never really welcome here. I was suffered out of ignorance and a desire for what I was thought to offer.
May Bree burn in my wake.
