This is a tale about Devon the Pig and Sneakygoose the Goat I have heard time ago from a fellow storyteller.
As we carriers of tales are a sociable bunch it is always encouraged to take such tales on into ones own portfolio and recite it whenever a time and place for people wishing to escape their daily lives for a little while.
Me myself, I am a proponent of conserving tales in written form so they might not vanish in time or to minds growing weary.
This now is the story of how Devon The Pig and Sneakygoose The Goat met for the very first time.
At that time as our story begins Devon has just been stolen from soldiers by the Orks of Bree-Land.
"Perfect" thought Devon, "I was brought to Bree-Land as provisions and now I have been freed from that fate just to surely be eaten by some other nasty creatures!"
But it just so happens that in the nighttimes as Devon sat there pondering how he could escape he observed a rather nosy goat who treaded very silently, watching every coming and going and poking its nose in the tents when the Orks were fast asleep.
"Hey! This goat is kind of snooping out the camp! Does it want to steal from the orcs?" Devon pondered, "Do I warn the Orcs and hope that they set me free in return for the favor?"
Of course you already know that Devon is a **very** clever pig! He could talk to all animals and he could also communicate with Hoo mans! He oinked and pointed and such and somehow even the most snooty elve would eventually understand what he tried to tell.
"No, orcses are dumb as bricks. They would be happy that they didn't get burgled, for sure! But they would roast me for a feast immediately after!" decided Devon,
"Better I try to escape using the opportunity the goat might present. Let me think of a ruse..." and thus Devon hatched a plan.
That evening he wallowed himself in the mud like other pigs do. Normally he would never do that! He is far too sophisticated to do such a thing!
But that night he was painting himself as if with tribal markings...
Later the orc chieftain, as drunk as he was when he stumbled to bed was very impressed as he saw the tribals on Devon.
"Wha.. what kinda pig .. ish dis? Ish ish dif.. diffi.. mor shiny, yeeee yes! Bring it... yes... bring it to maa mee ... me tent, yesh!"
And so, Devon was brought to the chieftains tent and tied to one of the poles with a sturdy long line around his ankle.
Later, as the drunken orcses where fast asleep, Devon used the length of the leash to gather a bunch of valuables lying around in the chieftains tent in his corner around himself and waited for what would happen...
And as if Devon didn't knew it! (I told you, Devon is a clever pig!)
Sneakygoose the Goat actually came to the camp that night! Sneaky was snooping around, here and there, looking for stealworthy things and mumbled under his breath "Hippety hoppety, this is now my property!" every time he put one thing or the other in his thieves bag.
(I told you, Sneaky is a silly Goat and he couldn't help but make fun of orcses.)
Sneaky went to the chieftains tent for last as he knew that there would be the most riches to pick.
As he carefully poked his nose inside, his eyes immediately fell on the hoard of valuables around the curious-looking pig.
"A pig? Wait a moment... A pig sitting calmly and dignified within a pile of some neat bounty?" Sneaky thought to himself, "This pig must be something special! As it sits so quietly, I will try to take it with me."
And whispered to himself as he untied the leash "Maybe I can sell it for a lot of gold! And if not, the butcher will give me a tidy sum of silver for a pig."
Devon was of course very, very quiet as Sneaky took him away, he didn't want the orcses to wake up! On one hand he was glad to get out of that place, but on the other...
"Great, now I escape from becoming roast pig for the orcs but the Goat will surely find out that I'm not a shamans pet after all and then he will sell me to the butcher! Somehow I have to escape my fate again and once more!"
And, as sure as the morning, Sneaky tied the leash to a tree back at his camp. "Who knows what he is capable of? He seems to be a special pig!"
That night Devon was once again thinking over his situation when he spotted a rat close by.
"Psst, hey rat!" Devon wispered. "I will reward you with many riches in bread, cheese and all things your heart desires!"
"Just you gnaw through my leash, please. Can't you see that I'm a mighty pig that had to be tied fast and am being stolen because I'm so valuable?"
The rat didn't think twice about this opportunity, as she had only to gain and nothing to loose. "I'll do it. You must be very very powerful, with your markings and being stolen by the famous Sneakygoose the Goat, the master Burglar!"
Faster done then said, the leash was bitten through and Devon felt his heart jumping in joy.
Of course Devon didn't run back to the orcs, but swiftly went to the closest hoo man farm.
There he hid in the pigsty and planned to behave just like a normal pig while some of those nasties might still be searching for him.
"I will think of a way to reward the rat as soon as I can, but for now I am safe." thought Devon and went to sleep calmly for the first time in what felt like ages.
As Sneakygoose the Goat woke up the next morning and saw the leash cleanly cut by fine teeth he was very surprised "Now, that _is_ a very special pig! Kept as treasure by the orcs, painted with tribal markings and, what it looks like, protected by other animals? Very special, indeed! I wonder if I will see this pig ever again..."
This is the story of how Devon the clever Pig and Sneakygoose the Goat, master burglar, met for the first time in their lives.
Indeed, they met many times more under the most peculiar circumstances! And as both are very much doing well, I'm sure they will meet time and time again.
Thank you for listening.
/Gutur McGermot of Bree
