This is a tale about Devon the Pig and Sneakygoose the Goat I have heard time ago from a fellow storyteller.
As we carriers of tales are a sociable bunch it is always encouraged to take such tales on into ones own portfolio and recite it whenever a time and place for people wishing to escape their daily lives for a little while.
Me myself I am a proponent of conserving tales on paper so they might not vanish in time or to minds growing older.
This now is the story of how Sneakygoose the Goat steals all Devons riches.
Last we left the two, Devon had just escaped captivity by orcs, ran away from being Sneakygooses loot and hid on a farm, posing as a very normal pig. (Which he surely wasn't.)
Life on this farm turned out better for Devon as he could ever have hoped for.
As we know, Devon is able to talk to other animals but he could also communicate with hoo mans! He'd oink and dance and point until even the most stiff-necked Elf got what he tried to say.
Just imagine how handy that could come in on a farm!
After Devon had stayed for a while he found the farmer to be a very well-tempered and simple minded fellow.
He still got to escape the usual fate of pigs on a farm so he started giving the farmer important news about the other animals.
Who needed more food, who was a little under the weather and needed to stay in the barn, who was with offspring, all those important little bits.
Soon the farm was doing better then ever before and Devon was a highly praised aide to the farmer. So well indeed, that the farmer wanted to reward Devon for his services.
As the farmer wasn't very sharp, it never crossed his mind that not being sent to the butcher might be reward enough...
Well, he had heard of the saying about "casting pearls before swine" so he went to bree, bought a few loose pearls and the next time
Devon brought some important news he offered the pig a pearl.
Devon was a little perplexed by that but, of course he took the pearl and trodded back to the sty happily.
So every now and then when Devon got a pearl as reward he buried them in one corner of the mud by the pigsty.
Devon himself would never wallow in the mud, he is far too sophisticated! But he knew that hoo mans would be very unlikely to search the pigs mud and the other pigs, well, he just told them to stay away from that corner.
Yes, and most likely the farmer and the farmhands believed that pigs would eat the pearls cast before them, anyway.
Meanwhile Sneakygoose was following his respectable trade of hanging around in Bree, when, over time, he became aware of the farmer buying pearls again and again, just very few at once.
"Doing rough counting, that amounts to a whole lot of pearls over time! But it's not jewelry for his wife or such, it's single pearls..." Sneaky thought, "What might he be doing with those?"
So sneaky followed the farmer as inconspicuously as only a master burglar could and witnessed the rewarding and everything from afar, hidden close to the fence of the farm.
"I'll eat my hat! He gives one of the pearls to this pig? And the pig seems to .. bury it in the mud by the pigsty? How... Why..." thought Sneaky who didn't recognize Devon at all because Devon didn't wear the tribal markings anymore.
"And what is the pig collecting them for, anyway?" he pondered, "But why should I care! I just want to get my hands on those shiny pearls... Hm, but it's all buried in the pigs mud, yuck! I think I've got a good plan coming up that will leave me as the new owner of a bunch of clean and shiny pearls." and after some pondering "I'll give the pig something to use those pearls for!"
As we know, in our times cities such as Bree are granting people abolition of serfdom if they sign up for the watch for a couple of years. They'll gain citizenship and are hencewith free people.
That is not especially interesting to animals as they can't hold weapons but Sneaky used the fact that humans from the villages are
very interested in that for his clever ploy...
The next time the farmer was in Bree, Sneaky enlisted some of his mates and they spread the rumour that from that day on the city would grant citizenship to people from the villages if they only brought with them some wealth to help with the war effort. And all without ever having to pick up a weapon! What nice prospects!
The farmer, always glad about gossip to bring home, told his family about this at the dinner table.
The families dogs, sitting by the stove, overheard the whole thing. Dogs can of course understand hoo mans as we all know once we talk to one.
So the dogs took this exciting gossip to the other animals the next day and, mouth to ear, it reached Devon, just as Sneakygoose planned!
Devon of course became very enthusiastic! He was rich after all! And he could talk with hoo mans! He would go into town with all his pearls in his snout, would go straight to town hall were he could trust people not to steal pearls or pigs, make himself heard, hand over the pearls and become a citizen of Bree!
"Tomorrow I'll have to literally bite the mud and hide the pearls under the hay. That should be safe for one night. And very early the next morning, I'll just sod off to Bree!"
In his mind Devons future looked brighter then ever. He went to sleep that night happy and hopeful as can be!
Unfortunately that was exactly what Sneakygoose the master burglar Goat had been waiting for.
Chuckling under his breath he watched Devon dive into the icky mud again and again, in between heading over to the haystack rummaging around at it's bottom.
And as sure as the sun will come up tomorrow morning, once the pigs were locked up and everyone was asleep, Sneaky tiptoed to the haystack and shoveled two handfull of shiny and mostly clean pearls into his worn out burglars purse.
But he couldn't help himself, could he?
He just had to go over to the pigstall, knocking and mocking "Psst, pigs, whoever tried to hoard pearls under the haystack, that is not a good hidy hole" he chuckled, "You have been bested by Sneakygoose the master burglar Goat!"
To his utter amazement suddenly a squeaky voice came from the inside "Noo! My riches!"
"Hear this Sneaky goat or goose or whatever, Devon the pig is on to you! I will find you when you expect it the least!"
Really startled by this, Sneaky hurried away from the place. "Devon, heh? Seems like I'll have to keep my eyes peeled for a while.
That must have been an extraordinarilly extraordinary pig... Wait .. didn't I lately ...?"
But as things go, this soon was all a bit blurred when the Prancing Pony welcomed Sneaky and his coin with open arms.
Since that day Devon and Sneakygoose knew of each others names!
They were on the lookout for each other and all the fine people of Eriador could rest assured that when the two met, hillarity would ensue and there would be new and exciting stories to tell!
Thank you for listening.
/Gutur McGermot of Bree
