“My mind is drifting like numerous rivulets, spread out in all kinds of uncoordinated directions, a mind dwelling in the dark and pain caused by my own undertaking. My will to piece together the mind, to form it into a strong river, is shattered and I despair in the dark. Where is the blissful reward promised all those long years ago, for those who are true to their oaths? The mindful stumbling of my thoughts suddenly become filled with dread, when I get the sensation of falling... fearing that I’m about to be cast into the void along with all those who do ill deeds in their life… and then... somewhere in the dark, right before Im lost forever in a deep everlasting drop, something is reaching out to me. There is a sense of other emotions trying to get my attention, emotions filled with concern and I reach out with the firstborn language in despair, a language close to the light, to grasp a hold on to those who reach for me, for those who now tries to mend the rivulets into a river… “
I wake up and realize I’m still alive, but both fearful and relieved at the same time. My body is as painful as my mind was in that dream, or was it a true experience I felt? Trying to shake the dark and fearful thoughts away, I shift my attention towards myself and my surroundings.
Im covered in bloodied bandages and numerous stitched-up wounds. And while trying to move, the pain tells a story of a broken arm and several ribs. Breathing is hard and I got a terrible sour taste in my mouth, but also a hint of apples prevails. I look around as best as I can with my limited mobility and find myself stretched out, on a unfamiliar bed in a unfamiliar room. There is a small table next to the bed with a bowl of water, fresh bandages and different vials and herbs which I do not recognize, but most likely is for my benefit. Next to the table I see a familiar sight. My sword and shield, both with tell sign tales of heavy combat, but clean.
Somebody had found me, taken care of me, my weapons and brought me to this place. Then a new concern and dread hits me, as hard as a shield to the face. Somebody knows about my deeds and doings, somebody will be curious what I have done and why. Have my delirious and wounded mind spoken out hidden truths to strangers? There will be questions, there will be rumors and there will be no peace for me, if they learn the reasoning for my actions. I might be praised and I might be cursed, depending on the view of my words and action, both things I do not desire.
And what had woken my rash intentions to seek out our foes in the Eastwall? What have dulled my mind to such actions, to go at it with a do or die mentality? … deep within me, the truth tells me why and I’m ashamed that I cannot master it. Does scars that deep within yourself, never heal?
A door which I haven't noticed, open up slowly and in walks two familiar faces. Waelden, my shield brother and sometimes travel companion enters with a hard stern expression directed at me, but his eyes reveals concern. A concern which is matched by the person entering after him, glancing at me over his shoulders, her right hand leaning on it... what was her name again? It slowly dawned to me, Yllfa, another old friend of Waelden.
What are they doing here? The question was answered as fast as it was asked. Waelden from Faldham, have probably been tasked by the thane or someone else, to survey the Eastwall, since my venture would probably have stirred up some kinds of troubles for the locals. Now I’m even more ashamed of my own deeds, which could have been the end of my good friend and others.
What will I tell them? Will they judge me harshly and leave me alone on the path, or maybe they are the people I can share my tale and secrets with and find some kind of salvation for myself?... the thoughts fills my eyes with tears, that run down my face like slow rivulets.
