Found:
I left early. Several hours before dawn. I had to. What other choice was there?
If I had waited until Balnirar awoke, he would have sought to stop me again. To make me stay for longer or to wrest from my lips further promises that I have no desire to make. Duress or not, once made they must be kept, and I have nothing left to give.
I know he is concerned for me, I know that he cares. I know that he simply wants me safe and well. I appreciate that. I do not, however, appreciate the nagging or the pushing.
So what if I have not told him everything about how Rowan died and how it has effected me? So what if I choose not to speak further on the matter right now? He knows enough. He knows all that is necessary.
What I need is time. Time to adjust. Time to work through my thoughts and feelings without being trapped by a hundred tonnes of rock or a rock-headed babysitter, well-meaning though he may be.
I need to be moving. I need to be on the road.
I left him a note. I hope he'll understand and, perhaps, forgive me eventually. That's a concern for another day. Today's concern is being far enough away from Erebor by sundown that he will be unable to follow, as he so threatened.
Luckily, Steel does love to run. We have made good progress. We should cross the border before morning.
For now, I camp in a forest as dark as my mind. It is somehow comforting.
