Found:
Yesterday was good. Today, not so much.
Yesterday, I saw Gregwald. We spoke for a little while before Ryheric joined us, and I then got the chance to introduce him to 'Dara. Yesterday was full of laughter and camaraderie, much of the laughter being at my expense concerning my age. Yesterday, there was quite an amusing round of innuendo and flirtation between Gregwald and 'Dara, most of the latter being skilfully evaded by the Bree-land girl. It was a joy to watch, a joy to be a part of. It was fun, lighthearted, precisely what I needed. I even managed a personal best for her blushing!
Today...
Millie has an admirer. That's good to hear. She's a lovely girl and deserves some attention and recognition.
Ry, however...
When I came across him this morning, he'd been playing his lute long enough to make his fingers bleed. He tried to cover it, but I have eyes. He told me that he has plans to form a group to travel with, including the girls if they so wish, and asked me to be a part of it. I was taken aback. I still am. I'd not expected that, but I agreed all the same. It's different to what I'm used to, but perhaps that's a good thing. A good start to the day, but later...
He's spent most of the afternoon trying to pick a fight with me. I must admit, I almost bit with the walls of Combe looming around me and him being dickish about whether or not he'd join me on a walk to be free of that claustrophobic feeling.
He didn't relent, though.
I'd noticed the difference in him since I got back. He's been more distant and more prone to unnecessary nitpicking. I'd not thought much of it, however, until today. His sudden prickliness coupled with the mess he'd made of his fingers, the way he kept actively trying to needle me into an argument... something was clearly bothering him, so I refused to give him that.
It might have been what he wanted, but I don't think it's what he needed.
I got some of it out of him at least. Not all, I think. There's more to it than he's telling me, I'm sure. More than he's willing to share just now, or more than he himself is aware of. I'm not sure yet.
I should be angry, I suppose, that he chose to take it out on me, that he's choosing to lay blame at my feet for the way he's feeling. I've done naught wrong, after all. But he's going through a lot of changes right now, and not small ones either. I'm partially responsible for at least some of those, even if I am not at fault for how he chooses to react to that. Still, I remember how it was for me when I was facing such life-altering shifts, the way I felt the need to run and push people away.
I don't like it, but I can understand it and he did admit his error and apologise to me for his behavior.
He's gone now, needing time alone, I think. Despite his unfair accusation from earlier that I treat him like a pup, expecting him to come to me, I'll not go after him. He needs space to think and process. I'll give him that and let him decide when he's ready to speak again.
He gets a free pass, but only this once.
