Darkness graces my vision. I see nothing but the bleakness of the present and the shadow of the future. Many come and go, and I remain stuck here in this land. I do not belong here, no matter how hard I try to feel like I do. There are so many people that are nice to me, take care of me, and express great interest in me... but it all remains the same. I am alone, and there is no end to my status as a refugee in this town. I have riches, my own enterprise and properties, many friends and yet my heart feels more empty by the day. What changed?
Perhaps I have failed to convince myself of the present. Or maybe this was all a lie I could tell myself to justify my staying in Bree-land. I made it here and could not face the trials of going back home, thus I established myself in such a way that the roots might take me out if I try to pull them too hard. This is the first time I have felt this way since I first got here. I do not know who to talk to about this, or if anyone else will understand. Maybe I am just having a moment of weakness, and must wait out the sorrow until it passes.
No matter! I have hope for myself nonetheless. There is no road without holes to step in, and I have walked on before. What is to stop me from doing so again?
Perhaps the next time I write will have better accounts.
