Assembled at my desk of leisure, of which I document the goings-on of my own life, is this next writing. I have been busy yet again, but not in the way that has been of my usual demeanor.
I have been self-isolating.
I am not sure what kind of boon it brings me, but every moment I spare for myself brings me closer to some sort of inner peace. I know it is regrettable for my social circle, for those who wish to see me, and for people I could meet.. but people will always be here. I will be here for much longer. I have nothing to lose by focusing on myself. It is a shame others do not see it that way, but there are those who might understand.
They will go on, of course. I have lived, as of a few weeks ago, what amounts to four decades. I have known tribes of all kinds; had children and a wife who are long dead; and have met countless Gondorians, Haradrim of the cities, stray Orcs, the Horselords, Dwarves, Bree-landers, Halflings... and they are all dead, dying or alive. I remain, and I know I shall continue to do so. What is the rush in maintaining this network if I can simply rebuild it time and time again? There is strength in my own solitude, and with this power I can adjust my life to how I see fit.
In this sense, there are disadvantages. I know not what goes on these days outside the realm of business. I have not seen Sairona, Israa, Cesistya, Maudey, or any others of significance in my life for some time. That is troublesome, but merely an inconvenience in the grand scheme of my own existence. Thus, comfort resumes, and my chance to rebuild these bridges can be brought forth again. If not so, then at least new ones.
It is a surreal experience, to truly engage with and consider the tempest of my life. I have seen so much, met so many, felt so heavy and so light, all in such a span of time. Since the passing of my last day of birth, I have reflected deeply on this subject.
Truly, I am happy to still be alive. No matter what brought me here.
