I have risen early, slipped into a robe and wandering up to the gleaming Dwarrow Mirror high above Tol Lochul to greet the dawn. Stars are still gleaming in the velvet blue sky as I reach my perch, arrange my implements, and begin to draft this account.
This is the last page in this volume, which seems like a momentous occasion. So many names and events described as I leaf back through the soft white pages. Some pages are still stained with tears….others with blood. Many with both.
My early ruminations were concerning Xandilif first laying claim to this island and the House of Three Graces. It seemed so cold and empty then, such a foolish encumberment and waste of riches. As I gaze down at it now, and the gardens, I see how wrong I was and how different it looks. Full of life and love, a haven and a retreat, every room filled with a sense of home. Then it was only my sister and myself who took refuge here, now so many do.
Before all others however, was my Cyndwin, now staying silent and close to home, tending the hearths of Tol Lochul after her strange disappearance made here nearly fearful of venturing forth. She helps Fillegedhiel at the forges during one of her rare visits from the dwarven land to see to the arms and armor of the Houses. With those two were my first adventures in Bree as detailed in these pages, and I will love them all my days.
But just as the stories told in these pages moved on and multiplied, so did the active inhabitants of this house.
First among them is sweet, impetuous Hawke, now Gwaelion, as he struggles to come to terms with the high birth he once thought but an idle fantasy of a doting mother. He has been through so much, and his road with me disappears into the distance of the future, yet I miss him so when he is away. He has come so far from those days when first we argued and loved, when he was still fighting rats, both two and four legged, in the alleys of Bree. He is still fighting, but at least his foes are now of a more fitting statue and demeanor. I do love him oh so dearly for all he has been to me, and all he shall be. It amazes me to think he is the living, breathing link between the woman I am now and who I was when I considered myself a protector of sordid, sorrowful Bree. I owe him so much and one day may owe him even more.
A protector of Bree…that was the role which first led the Lady Ahmo, revered in years and wisdom, to seek my aid in freeing two close comrades of hers. Addiela and Nethrida, from captivity. This led to adventures, and then many nights by their bedsides as they healed from their wounds, both of the body and the soul. As I came to know each, I learned how different they were even then, yet how much alike. Addie, noble and long-suffering but often driven to isolate herself from others, always quick to find the fault within herself, real or imagined, turning inward to commune with her ghosts. Nethrida, near broken by misfortune and loneliness, desperately reaching out for a hand in the darkness but convinced she did not deserve one. She was moved to destroy herself many times, but some faint hope always preserved her. So different, yet both were first and foremost about duty to those around them and wracked by fears that they had somehow failed to rise to their destiny, neither seeing that their true destinies, their abiding glories, are yet to come. Nethrida, my beautiful warrior, has flowered in my embrace and love and has become again the leader and inspiration she was born to be, both to me and to the others. Watching her stand tall again is one of the great joys of recent days for me. Sister Addie also takes solace from our fellowship and care, but still seems to insist on battling her demons alone. I pray to Elbereth that recent events help her to see the folly of standing alone in dark times, especially when she is so loved. I think that despite herself she understands that, like Nethrida, she has found that place she has long sought, the place where she truly belongs.
On that adventure, leading steadily to the Battle of the Spike in Kheledul, Eduwiges Of Faldham also came into my life. Solid and stalwart, brutal and abrupt, quick to rage and quick to passion, I have come to depend upon her so much more then she knows in all ways. No matter my mood, she never fails to make me smile, even when I must groan at her jests. I count on her strong arm to support me, her broad shoulder to lean on, and her boundless heart to shelter me. I was shocked at her temerity to ask Xandilif the Banshee to train her for battle, and stunned speechless when my sister agreed. Does Eduwiges know the Maiden of Madness had never taken a student before, and what a sign of faith and favor her acquiescence was? I hope she does, but if she did she would no doubt refuse to believe it. That is just her way. I cannot imagine what these halls, or my heart, would be like without my dear lynx now.
Soon after that dread encounter in Kheledul, as we began discussing leaving Breeland for good, I met the wonder that is Finchley, and my Gwaelion fell for her like a village swain for their sweetheart. I admit I loved her from first meeting her as well. Seldom have I ever known a soul as pure and generous as Finchley’s and when she came to live on the island after we feared Hawke lost, I soon saw just what a dear sister she is. Wise and direct, yet always tempered with compassion and gentleness, I could ask no finer friend or comrade to share so much of true value with me, as well as a seemingly endless meal. Beyond her ties of love and fellowship with me, she has charmed Xandilif beyond all measure. A friendship that at first amused those around her has shown itself to be perhaps one of the most enduring bonds either of them know. Beyond her effect on me, I can never repay Finchley for the love she has brought to both Hawke and my difficult, diabolical sister.
As we set forth for Tol Lochul after leaving Breeland behind, as I sheltered uneasily in Rivendell I met Calidis Nighteye. As voluble and open as Finchley is, Calidis is silent and withdrawn…yet her purity and wisdom is just as deep as Finchley’s, perhaps more so. Having been advised to seek Calidis’ counsel on the matter of gemstones, I offered my hand and friendship to her almost on a whim, and was astounded when she gripped that hand as if it were her last lifeline. Having seldom left Imladris despite her ancient life, so much is still new and strange to her, in places and people, and I am honored and enraptured that she has chosen to explore these things by my side and in our fellowship. In so little time she has found herself facing a life so different then that she was once resigned to, and the light in her dark eyes fills me with joy, as does how essential she has become to all of us on Tol Lochul.
The Lady Ahmo, and noble Arahen, both of lofty lineage and birth, also often shelter here on the island, giving us their counsel and often their disapproval, but we are all young yet in age and aptitude, and often need a gentle hand from such great ladies. I am ever grateful for their kindness towards me and their patience.
There are others who have only just begun to find their place here in the House of Three Graces, and many kindred souls we have yet to meet…and for them pages are reserved in the book that will replace this one, continuing on from our past adventures. The key to growth, after all, is to keep what is best even as things change and new friends arrive. Hand in hand, we welcome them.
Now as I reach the last few lines of this book, I am filled with a sense of gratitude towards all those who have journeyed with me, even briefly, and all those who have spared me a moments interest or kindness along the road. All the more so am I grateful to those who remained to share my adventures, and my heart. I am truly blessed to know each person I have described here, and in pages past. I hope they see, should they ever read these words, how much I love them.
Now, as the last words are waiting to be written, the future awaits. Praise Elbereth that we face it, together.
In fact, that shall be the last word of this volume, for I cannot think of a more apt one….
TOGETHER.
