We both looked to Elfmar, speaking with one of his men. His back was partly turned towards the door, so though he had likely heard our footsteps, he hadn’t yet seen us. I paused. Although I had always felt very welcome here, this was Waelden’s first home.
“After you, dear” I said, bobbing my head for him to make the introduction for us both. It would be different in Forlaw where I would be the one on old ground, and more likely to speak first.
Waelden glanced around the hall. “It’s late … most are already sleeping. But even so we could make ourselves at home in a corner for a few hours, aye?”
I nodded in agreement. At that moment anything other than sitting on a horse was welcome.
Then we were next to the dias where the Thane stood. I remained silently at Waelden’s side for the moment. I had only met Elfmar on two occasions, but I did not think he was a man to forget a face. He would recognise me as the woman of his old friend, I was certain.
“'Elfmar! You're still awake, you old sod.” Waelden announced in a jocular manner. ”I thought you'd be drunk on ale and well in your bed at this late hour.”
For an instant I was taken aback. Then as Elfmar turned to regard us, and he and Waelden clasped hands in familiar greeting, I grinned. They had known each other for a long time.
“Thane Elfmar, it is a pleasure to meet you again.” I said softly, giving a small curtsey. I felt safe with those words, as one of recent acquaintance.
“Well Waelden, … and Yllfa,” he bobbed his head to me in recognition, “What are you two doing out and about at this hour?” he nodded courteously to the man he had been speaking with, that their conversation was now at an end, and with a bow and a hand placed over his heart, the man departed.
“Aye, the hour is late, I know. And Faldham, nor Floodwend, is not our goal this time. We are heading into Wildermore.“ Waelden stated plainly.
I nodded in agreement with him, though in truth my legs were aching and my mind was set on lying down as soon as I may. “Waelden is helping me train, so I may defend myself better at need. And I want to show him a home I was happy in, even as he has shown me this place.”
Elfmar scratched his beard a moment, and took a step back. “Wildermore? Whatever do you hope to find up in the mountains? There's nothing there but snow and ice, and the grumpiest of farmers."
“And me,” I added swiftly. “I was happy living there for awhile, sir. But we go to see if there is a possibility of setting up a trade route for Lord Tiubar, as well as train and meet old acquaintances.” Ah, I thought. I was getting ahead of myself. Though I was quite capable of speaking up, I had thought to let my dear Waelden tell of our mission. He was watching me with just the slightest hint of amusement, I noticed.
Elfmar laughed, a merry sound it was. “Ah, then I correct myself. Good people can come even from the coldest of places. I've had nothing but bad luck trading with those folk though."
I pursed my lips, as difficult trading had never been my experience. But neither did I doubt the Thane’s words. It could be that matters had become a little different since I was last in Forlaw?
“I know it is said to be a strange land, indeed.” Waelden spoke, while I was pondering. “Much like a separate land within Rohan. But as Yllfa wants to show me her old home, that’s where we are going - and I am looking forward to it, despite the more wintery weather. What we ask is for a few hours rest here before we head to Forlaw, if you don’t mind.”
“Of course not. Take whatever you need. And grab a couple of blankets as you are heading north.” was the reply. “We take care of our Elfwards, both old and new.”
“I know my friend, and we might just do that.” Waelden said.
I bowed my head respectfully to Elfmar, who grew in my esteem with each meeting. “You are always so kind to us, sir. I almost feel as if Faldham is my home as well.”
There was a thoughtful twinkle in the Thane’s eyes as he straightened up, looked from Waelden to me, seeming to be about other business, but he added. “It’s a home to any friend of mine, Yllfa. Make yourselves comfortable. I will send some food for you.”
“We will be off at first light, but it’s always a pleasure. Hopefully we will return with a fur or two for your use, good sir.” Waelden reached out his hand to his old friend, a hint of a chuckle in his voice.
Elfmar took the offered hand and shook it firmly. He grinned. “Good. Now off with you both. Get some food and a good sleep. Maybe I will see you on your way back to Kingstead!”
Then he was off to speak with two further men awaiting him at the back of the hall.
“He is a busy man.” I stated softly.
“Aye, that he is. But we should take the offer of a quick meal and a nap ourselves, eh.” Waelden turned to one of the nearby empty tables, gesturing we should both at least sit. “The horses won’t need that long to rest. Neither should we.”
I brushed past Waelden, nudging him lightly and approvingly, as I took one of the more comfortable looking chairs.
He also sat down, opposite me, taking up a dryer piece of bread from a remaining bread basket.
“Waelden, I have been thinking.” I said.
He looked up. Unlike some men I had known, he was not bothered by those words. “Aye? What has moved in your mind?”
Perhaps it was not the best of times to start such a conversation? He was right. We should be resting. But it seemed to me it was the first time we had been alone together, and without cares weighing us down, for a while.
“'I have told you much about my past, and I know some of yours. But if you have the will, I would like to know more?”
He paused a moment, “Well, of course. I don't know how much would be of interest, but I'll gladly tell what I can. If you have anything particular you want to know, then ask?”
I took a second piece of the dried bread from the basket, to join him in the battle to eat it. With my other hand I reached over the table to seek and entwine fingers. “You once said you would know all you could of me… but I would do likewise.”
“Heh... yes, I did... but I fear I'm not nowhere as interesting as you.” he locked his fingers with mine, reaffirming the bond between us, and in spite of further dry bread close at hand. Just a moment it was, with just we two in our world.
“Of course you are interesting to me! Why else would I be here?” I paused, and then we both laughed. “I have things to tell you, as we travel the wilds… if you would hear them? If I bore you with my words… then tell me so and I shall sing instead”
“Nothing you say will bore me.” he nodded to enforce his statement. Then his eyes crinkled at the sides as he chuckled again. ”But maybe you singing is too much unless it is to scare off the orcs?”
I laughed openly, before trying to control myself, less any slept within hearing.
“Haha! No, I am sorry. That was a bad joke, love. You have a good singing voice too.”
I broke away from him, eyeing him with mock disapproval. But we two were well aware of each other’s sense of humour. “I am afraid,” I drew close again to whisper in his ear. “I do sing more like a wolf than a woman.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” he whispered back. ”A wolf’s howl can be quite enchanting.”
I blushed, despite knowing he could silver-tongue his way around me if he chose. “Alas, not mine,” I replied, giving him a swift kiss on the nose. “But thank you anyway.” Then I looked up as, bearing down on us from the back of the hall was a large, rather grumpy looking man. His thin, light brown hair was tied back from his face, his eyes looked dark, though he may have just been tired. More to the point, he carried two bowls of streaming broth.
“The cook,” I whispered to Waelden, who turned immediately to look over his shoulder.
“Well well! If it’s not old Jogar. Still cooking for Elfmar, I see.” Waelden smiled brightly to the grumpy man.
With a tired grin in reply, Jogar placed the bowls on the table, in front of us. “And still remembering you don’t care much for soup, young Waelden, eh! Venison broth, with more meat and vegetables than any water.”
I bobbed my head, just a little amused to realise Waelden’s taste in food had some history. “Well met Jogar. And thank you. That will surely fill us both up.”
The men shook hands in the manner of old and fond acquaintances.
“And who is your lady” Jogar inquired with a growing smile. I wondered then that he had probably known Waelden and Eda for some time. He would likely know of Eda’s passing. Unlike Denholm, back at Bancross, he seemed pleased that Waelden may at last have found someone else?
“This is Yllfa,” Waelden replied, leaning comfortably back in his chair and taking up the wooden spoon Jogar passed to him. “Though I am sure she can introduce herself better.”
I smiled up at the cook, as he passed me my spoon. “Aye, I am Yllfa, daughter of Beornmund of Forlaw and Yrsa of Edoras. And here in his first home, I have no objection to Waelden introducing me.” I winked over at my companion as I took a first spoonful of the rather deliciously rich venison stew.
Jogar grumbled something at Waelden, and held out his hand to me in greeting. His skin was slightly greasy after cooking. "Jogar, my lady. Cook to the Old Thane and the new, and his family. I missed you when you visited early in the year, with this rascal and his daughter. It’s good to finally meet you.”
For a grumpy looking man, I found Jogar very pleasant.
“A pleasure to meet you, Jogar.”
Pointing to another chair at the table, Waelden said, ”If you have time, why don’t you join us for a while?”
The cook shook his head. “If what Elfmar told me is correct, you need to sleep rather than reminisce with me. Besides, I have an appointment with my own bed. Maybe I will have more time to catch up on what you have been doing soon, eh?”
I nodded, and Waelden spoke with understanding. “'Heh! Good night, friend. I'm sorry our untimely visit kept you up this late.”
With a friendly nod, and a wipe of his hands on his apron, Joger turned away. “Safe travels to you both.”
“Sleep well.”
Jogar walked away towards the back of the hall, and the door to the kitchens, back grumbling about late visitors.
Waelden laughed, and shook his head. “He has always been the same. A good cook, but not so much blessed with social grace.”
“I hope we did not cause him much inconvenience?”
“Bah… that’s his job!” Waelden returned to fishing out the meat, carrots and parsnips from his stew.
I thought a moment, twisting my spoon around in small circles. Then I reached my free hand over to my companion. He put his free hand over mine, but continued eating.
“That’s the sort of thing I want to know about, dear. Your childhood here, your friends, your family. What your parents and grandparents were like?”
I lightly and fondly squeezed his hand for a moment, then released it, so we could both eat more easily.
“'Mm. I wasn't even a grown man when my grandfather passed, so I did not know the man well. I don't recall ever meeting my grandma.”
I dunked the remaining piece of dry bread in my stew. “You see. I didn't know that, and now I do. I don't mean for you to tell me everything at once… but as things come to your mind… perhaps?”
“Aye. I can do that.” Waelden chased the last piece of venison around his bowl, then pushed away the remaining broth. “His name was Aldur. He was always an old bitter man, and my father wasn't too fond of him as I recall. Aldur was a man of the earth. And from what you already know of my father, you might see why that's an issue.”
“A man of the earth. A farmer you mean?” I asked.
“'As much of a farmer as anyone can be.” Waelden continued, his eyes straying to a younger lad who walked to our table bearing two large tankards of ale. “He barely left the farm at all. He grew everything he needed there, and bought from travelling traders. My father hated that life.”
“Thane Elfmar bid me bring you these sir, lady.” the flaxen haired lad said respectfully. “And to tell you to use some of the blankets over by the side door as the floor is hard and… eh… cold.”
Nodding his thanks, Waelden slipped the lad a silver piece. “Thank you for not spilling any. And for the Thane’s words.”
With a beam in his own tired eyes, the boy placed a hand over his heart and departed.
“Rewarding him for doing his job?” I teased my companion.
“For doing it well, and in the small hours of the morning, aye. I am used to sleeping on hard cold floors, but Elfmar was likely thinking of your comfort, love.”
I chuckled a little. “And I am not used to sleeping wherever we find ourselves? From that night in Entwash I knew being with you would mean making the best of things.”
He looked at me over the top of his tankard, which he raised in a toast to me. “No more of that edge of the blanket nonsense, eh? We both need to keep warm. To a good rest then!”
I raised my tankard in turn. “That only happened once! To a good night’s rest, then. But back to your grandfather. Though his was likely a hardworking and honest life, I realise it is not for all.”
“Indeed it is not. His farm is no more, but it was located some ways north of here, out in the Norcrofts, far from most common routes.”
A ‘picture’ was beginning to form in my mind, a basic sketch of a grandparent quite different than mine, but nonetheless honourable in his own way.
I took hold of my tankard again, sipping slowly. “And your father chose to be a soldier?”
Waelden leant forward, resting both elbows on the table. He was relaxing into giving his account of his family now. “He wanted more of life, at least. He was adventurous and brash in his younger days, I've been told. Seeking thrills and danger, yet living with the warriors code.”
I nodded my understanding. “Yet he was also a man of honour, I warrant?”
“'Very much so, aye. He lived by it, with every drop of blood in his body. And he instilled that in me, as best he could.”
I lowered my tankard, regarding Waelden keenly, so that he looked quizzically at me in turn.
“What, she-wolf?”
“No one is perfect, far from it. But you are probably the most honourable man I have ever known, Greybeard. I would think that trait ran though many of your ancestors”
Waelden shook his head.
“No? You surprise me. But if you go back far enough, I suppose…”
“Not so far back as you might imagine.” Waelden spoke up, his face a little more serious of expression than usual. “Do you remember the tale of our supposed curse? Every family has a dark spot in history, and far from all my ancestors were good men.”
I thought back for a moment. “Oh, the one on… the one about the children dying?”
My own heart was saddened as I recalled he had lost his own firstborn to something, as it seemed had some of his ancestors I reached out to lay a hand on his arm.
“'Yes. No man with honour would leave a woman with her dead baby in her arms like that, and treat her like it was nothing.”
‘You wouldn’t’ I pondered, as I sat in silence a moment. I did not wish to open old wounds from our talk.
“We can halt here if you like?” I suggested.
But Waelden shook his head once, and continued. “I don't know how far back it goes. If it was my grandfather's grandfather, or something like that. Many generations ago.”
Very well, we would discuss his family curse further, I thought. Perhaps it was time to find out all I could?
“From what I recall, it was a deed ill-done. But that man wasn’t anything like you, or your father by the sound of things. And this idea of a curse...I know we can be a superstitious bunch, but I am not certain such things exist?”
Waelden lowered his head a little. “'No, I'm not either. I put little faith in it, even though it's hard to embrace the fact that every single male member of our family has suffered the loss of children at birth. Though in this world, not so strange perhaps?”
I sighed. True enough, many a child was stillborn, or died soon after birth, some taking their mother into shadow with them. But so many, in one family…?
“'I know we can all wish ill on others, sometimes justifiably, sometimes not. “But I have generally thought any ill that happens to those so ‘cursed’ is from their own bad nature, rather than a word-spell.”'
“I want to agree with that, aye.” Waelden said.
“'But the unborn, the newly born children do no wrong.” I drew a deep breath. “So they cannot bring any ill upon themselves.”
“It doesn't matter. The point of any such ill intent is to harm the ones that will hurt the most - the parents.” For a fleeting instant I could see the old pain on Waelden’s face. I took his hand, entwining fingers again. We would be strong for each other.
“It is a wickedness to wish death on a newborn” I spoke softly. “And a wickedness to punish an errant man through his line for all succeeding generations. What he did was wrong. But it is being met with another wrong, if there is any truth in this.”
“'It is…” Waelden shrugged. “But remember that it was a mother who lost her child and the man did nothing, nor cared of it. Words uttered in anger, in fear, in despair... they still have power. Perhaps more than she intended.”
Then I knew what was bothering him. “You have come to think… this tale is possibly true?”
He slowly shook his head. He didn’t believe in such things. He wasn’t even sure about me, taking me on trust and love alone. “I want to think it's just an old wife's tale. But... I don't know. Words do have power in this world, and curses are real in many other places, or so the legends say.”
“Words have power, aye. But it is not always as straightforward as a curse… We can do naught for the past generations. Are you thinking ahead? To what may happen if Ethel ever has a son?”
“'No... I don't think of that often. As far as I know it has only affected the male line, and not always the firstborn. On the other hand, we haven't had many females born either. We have always had small families. One, maybe two children have lived at the most.”
We fell into silence for a few moments, each considering their own thoughts.
“Would you mind if I think on this matter as we travel? I do not mean to remind you of painful times, but there is something about this ‘curse’ that doesn’t feel right to me. It’s like it may be true on the surface, and yet not deeply true? And it has caused hurt to you. That alone calls me to find out more.”
“No, not at all. Think as much as you like of it. I've always just treated it as a dark spot in the family history. It’s something we only speak of once to our children, and then rarely ever again.” Waelden shook his head. “'Ethel still doesn't know... and I don't know how to tell her of her brother. Eda would not talk, and so it was just buried in our hearts. We just never discussed it. He would've been a grown man by now, had he lived.”
“Do you need to tell her?”
Waelden sighed and took a deep drink of his ale.
“When she's old enough, I will need to tell her. She deserves to know, especially when it's time for her to think of children herself.”
“That's what concerns me most.” The loss of his son had torn into Waelden’s heart. I could not sit by and allow the possibility of it being real… of it taking his grandchild from him and from Ethel.
“I wasn't told about it until my younger siblings were born, and passed away.” He pushed away the now empty tankard.
“My dear, this is important enough to take up our time and thought,” I rose to my feet, having learned some of what I had hoped for, and some I had perhaps not. “I wish it had not happened to any… I wish that woman had been loved… but we can't change the past.”
“No... but we can strive to be better, despite everything.”
Kissing him lightly on the head, I nodded towards the pile of blankets. “I need to take some sleep, and a few blankets will make the floor just a little cosier?”
Following my lead, Waelden also rose from his chair, yawned a little, and moved to take up extra bedding.
Thoughts were still niggling at my tired mind.
“You don't have any idea where the woman was from, or where she died, do you? Even a rough idea?”
We both lay the blankets on the floor, far enough from the door to avoid a draft.
“'Not much, no. She was a northern woman, I think, but not from as far as Wildermore. I'm guessing more Thornhope, or the area around there. But this is something that happened generations ago. There's no telling where that legend started, or if there is any truth to it at all.”
“If you remember more, and you wish it, please tell me, aye?”
We both sat down. Was it a relief to my legs at last? Probably not. I knew I should have ridden far more often around Bancross. I made to unclasp my cloak and wrap it over us both.
“It’s up to you. I have no problem telling you, though personally I wouldn’t mind just leaving it as it is. And tell Ethel one day. And yet… perhaps there is a way to end this curse, if it even exists?”
I shuffled about, trying to make myself comfortable. “This is to do with your family, dear. I will not pry at all if you do not approve.”
Waelden lay down on his side, and wrapped his cloak over us both as well. “You are my family now, Yllfa.”
And with that I kissed his nose, lay my head against him, and we drifted into a much needed sleep.
