From Applecider Bolingbroke, being sent by Quick Post from her lodgings at the Ivy Bush at Hobbiton-Bywater, to Lancogard North-took, Hon. Deputy-Shirriff of the Northfarthing:
Most Excellent Sir,
With any luck, ye an’ the Bounders be experiencing a day or so of thoroughly uninterrupted lull.
Word from Mister Grubb at the Quick-Post is the mountains west o’ Needlehole be right properly iced-in. Miffed as I were at delaying me return to Duillond, I took the opportunity to go shopping. A Hobbit always be in want of a few Shire noshes, however well-stocked Miss Sergie’s larder be.
Not much, mind you: Just a keg o’ Wooly-Foot, a keg o’ Withywindle, a keg o’ Blagrove’s, half a dozen cases each o’ Whitebranch an’ Isenwine, an’ the 1407 Vintage (I knows a lot of Hobbits be partial to the 1404, but I prefers a mite drier). A couple rashers o’ bacon from Budgeford, four o’ Dora Brownlock’s chickens, a barrel o’ Gaffer Gamgee’s apples .... an’ alright, I spent quite a bit on an entire bushel o’ fat mushrooms from Bamfurlong.
Hopefully that’ll last till March, when the roads are more passable an’ I can place a more substantial order.
I also bought a very large crate of honey jars from Polo Proudfoot, as I be using the inclement weather to stay indoors an’ experiment with me recipe for Elf Toast.
Did I ever tell ye about Elf Toast?
It be a point of curiosity.
Elf Toast be a bit like regular toast, apart from being different in almost every conceivable way.
It be cheery an’ gold on the outside, creamy white on the inside, and it do tend to be a bit dry (about the only properties it shares with regular toast). Although it be a bit fragile ter spread butter on.
Not that ye’d need much butter: fer all its dry nature, Elf Toast (‘lembas,’ they calls it) be a properly sustaining form of vittles (I’m wonderin’ if I should take a plate to Mister Sir Halros; might see if it’d expedite his recovery any).
Elfs’ll tell ye, yeh nae be needin’ much to fill yerself up for hours – I debates this: have you seen how skinny all them Elfs be? They en’t lasting this winter out on toast alone; I tell yeh that much.
But I digress.
Elf Toast be made of a recipe known only ter Elf Ladies (it’s a trade secret, I gather: Maybe that’s how they lures themselves a nice Elf-Lad).
But I learns it from Mister Sir Halros’s captain’s lady-friend.
An’ soon as I finds meself another piece of paper (and eats this slice of pie I saved from tea), I’ll lets ye in on a little secret. An’ therein be the basis of an antic I be formulating, in which an Adventurous Hobbit such as yerself may find interest .....
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