The worst days of my life, how can I go on with this job? It is making me hurt the one man I love more than life. Egfor. Lover. My Prince. My Husband. My Lifemate. Those two women are so…childlike in their innocent beliefs. I say ignorant, and they will disagree with me. They disagree with everything I say, but harmless as a newborn babe they are. They believe as they have been brainwashed to believe. But now…it is hurting my Prince.
It started when her mother showed up, well before then, but that is when it came to a head. I needed to discover if Sara was in league with the Mordor slime lord or just his pawn. I know the woman doesn’t believe he used her to find his daughter; she considers him capable of love. People raised in that shadow are incapable of love, even slaves. Fear, betrayal, lust, these they are capable of, but not love.
Of course, they also believe no one outside of the dark lord’s realm is capable of standing up against their fighting ability. If that were true, there would be more mortals with the dark lord’s armies than orcs, goblins, and wargs. Sara tells me she knows him well, and she can give me his fighting style and so forth. Well, so can Eira, and most likely more of it. Sara was the bed partner, not the one trained to fight. He would never do that because if she learned how to fight, she might kill him during sex.
I pushed her buttons. I was not gentle about it. Egfor kept saying he wanted everyone to be friendly in the inn. I should have shut my mouth, but I had to know. She is his pawn; Eira’s father is on his way. Sara truly believes he did not want her to be there when he came. Poor deluded soul. I am not ready for Eira to know yet because I am not entirely positive. I mislead her making her think Eira was on her way to the Vale. I haven’t told Eira, but perhaps Nim has.
When I left to install Sara in the women’s house, I heard Egfor crying. My heart shattered. Why did I not listen to his pleas? Why did I not keep my damn mouth shut? Gods, sometimes I am so dense. I hurt him. Will this pain drive a wedge between us? Please, gods no.
