I will never forget the first time that I held her, little fingers wrapped around my hand, I saw her mouth open. But I could not hear her cry. I was afraid but amazed at the fact that I successfully brought life into world. I realized that she is mine but she also is his. I've been with the same man for a decade. So there was no question of who the Father is. But all of us were his. Most of the other women wanted to stay. I never understood that. Maybe I am the mad one? Maybe they have more endurance than I do? Or maybe it was the riches they were after. The benefits of being his. Perhaps in their mind belonging to him brought order to the chaos. His name stirs up so many emotions inside. Fear, anger, anguish, loneliness, there are not enough words to describe everything Zeld has made me feel. Did I ever love him? No. I am deaf not blind, I can see that he is a handsome man. Yet, no amount of honeyed words or 'gifts' will ever change my mind. The other women never saw him for what he is. A sharp, devious, scheming, hand of Saruman. If I continue to resist will it be better? Or worse? I have a baby to think of.
Is it better to leave her in the hands of my rival? No, no, it cannot be. I cannot abandon her like my own parents did before me. That is not the legacy I want to leave. I'm coming sweetheart.. I just need a plan.
