((A copy of Danel’s reply to Estarfin’s A Final Letter? | The Laurelin Archives ))
Estarfin,
You surely know you are most dear to me. Do not ever think I have nothing left to say to you. I chide myself for not writing sooner, but understand now, I do not intend to sail from these lands.
It pains me that you expected me to depart, that I had not explained my thoughts to you better. Again the oversight is mine. I should have been bolder. Your perception that my heart was not in the declaration I made in Mirkwood is understandable. I did not wish to be parted from Belegos at that time, considering him a close friend, and that may have reflected in my tone and manner. Yet I knew then that the three of us would not sail together. And I knew there was no choice in the matter for me, less I held many yeni of my life as naught.
You wrote that you are not gifted in seeing the truth in the hearts of others. Ai, do I not know that! Often I gave hint, though usually veiled. You never heard what I left unsaid. Often the most important part, as far as I was concerned.
So for once I shall be blunt.
I will never desert you to be alone in these lands. Though our paths may take us to different places over the passing of time, I shall never sail while you remain. I do not say this as some sort of threat to cajole you into seeking the mercy of the Valar, but as a fact. If I am slain, the matter is out of my hands. Should you be slain, then I shall reconsider. It is my hope that does not occur. Death aside, I am bound to you, son of Thargelion, in a way you have not realised.
I have endured much. The Valar know we both have endured much. But I could not endure the parting you speak of. A sundering between us unto the breaking of the World, that would be a hopeless future for me.
There is a kinship between us, a friendship as you say. For my part it has been considered for some time, and though unrequited, it has deep roots. It is not something I can cast aside.
As matters stand, it is unlikely I will return to Imladris for some time. I wait here near the shore of the Great Sea, for the outcome of my grandmother’s situation. It is likely she will take ship West. I have much to occupy me within her house, in the meantime. Her library contains much salvaged from Beleriand and Eregion. Documents copied for the most part, but also some artifacts and weapons.
For your part I realise you are bound to Imladris, by duty or will. But when the time comes, know you always have a place with me, if you so wish. You shall not be alone at the end unless it is your determined choice.
I shall send this letter to you as soon as I may. Falassiel of Lindon shall bear it, and travel with the next party to depart Mithlond. I hope it reaches you swiftly. Be not concerned that I have nothing left to say to you. I have much more I would say, and may it be we have time to indulge in a few memories at the least in future times?
You mean a great deal to me, Estarfin.
Carnifinde of Thargelion
