Seaver

The shop was silent, empty, and dark when she stepped inside. This was of no concern to her for the hour was late and she was, at heart, a creature of the darkness. Tonight however, it was really rather comforting. After the bright bustle and the hectic merriment of the evening, she needed some peace in which to process all that she had seen and learned.

Yesterday was blessedly peaceful and quiet, free of trouble and tragedy. If only more days could be so. 

It is almost dawn from the look of the sky.  It looks as if it is going to be one of those sunny but chilly days, you know the one's I mean where you look out of the window and the sun is shining, the colours are bright and rich and you step outside without a cloak and realise you have been tricked?  I fear what this day may bring...an ominous aura surrounds me.

Although it has been several days since my utter humiliation and likely end to whatever it was that I shared with Seaver. I cannot get the look on his face out of my mind, I shudder each and every time I picture it, like a hammer blow to the chest. As much as I had thrown myself back into everything that must go on as normal, my thoughts have been consumed with it and continuously playing out a different outcome, one where I had stilled my tongue instead and kept my heart in check.

What have I gone and done? It is as if all sanity left me, took on a form of it's own and uttered the words I have so carefully tried to conceal. It was as if I were on the outside, watching this unfold through a window, time slowed, agonizingly slow, and I hammered my fists upon thickened glass, trying to break through and stop the madness that was unraveling afore me. What was I thinking of? What possessed me?

The wisdom the Dalesman had shared with me played on my mind for days. I had left his house both disappointed with the fact he would not intervene and ask Taala to change her mind about letting me attend their post wedding celebration. I was also utterly disappointed with myself, even Eroforth seemed to detect that I was growing ever more attached to my childhood friend. We were not children any more, but men and women who had both seen our fair share of trials and tribulations, and I was becoming more and more moved by his.

I’ve not put a pen to this journal for several days now. I do think I’ve had a good excuse for it. Much has happened…more than I want to acknowledge or recall, in fact. Some things, I will not talk about here, for I wish to forget that they occurred at all. I’m afraid my thoughts, at this time, will be somewhat random and scattered.

Despite my best efforts, my disappointment at being excluded from Taala and Eroforth's wedding feast still occupied my thoughts. What had I done to deserve this? ah, she is a cold one that Taala, but her husband is not. I do not claim to know him well, but I liked him instantly the first time I met him, and this was what? Perhaps the third time I'd met him?