I am unsure why I shared so much tonight.
Normally I do far better shoving questions off.
a wave of anxiousness came over me as I finally admitted to someone other than my thoughts that those kids deserve far better than I as a sibling. For what had I shown them? Nothing but to lie, cheat, and steal their way through living and to selfishly make a way for myself alone. Being a scholar barely pays enough for my own self to live, I should have become a soldier, perhaps then I could provide more than I can now from that job alone.
But no.
