Elloen was still in Lórien, and once again a guest to his uncle Feamiril and aunt Linnen, sitting next to the table in his thoughts, though he didn't have much time, since he had promised to lady Danel return to his companions soon.
Just a moment ago he received news about Estarfin once again slipping out of the present, and not being himself. He had a discussion with Danel, Parnard and Belegos. He had once again learned some new things about Estarfin, and that his affliction for the battles he has been in during his life.
”So you want a bowl of the same water, that lady Galadriel peers in to find out what happens in Middle-Earth. I see, but why?”, Feamiril interrupted his thoughts. ”I need to make a draught that heals a broken fëa, and wanders away from this realm. I can say no more right now about him, but I believe that this water could help in reviving his awareness”, Elloen answered. Feamiril nodded. ”I see, and I believe that it is possible. But what other ingredients are you going to use?”, he asked.
For a moment Elloen was quiet, sinking in his old memories. A fëa wandering away from reality was not strange thing for him. He had not been an old warrior, but an adolescent boy, and he was definitely younger than Estarfin. But he knew what he felt like. What Elloen wanted back then was a release. He was safe in Rivendell, he had cried his tears for his parents, and he cared for Middle-Earth no longer. It felt easy to let go while the scenery around him was still fair, so he didn't need to experience such sorrow anymore. His body was still alive and present, but his fëa was wandering elsewhere, waiting to be admitted to the Halls of Mandos.
What first returned him to Rivendell was the feeling of someone wrapping arms around him. He could feel words of comfort, but he was unsure whether the voice came from the West or Rivendell. He could feel tears rolling down his cheek, but they were not his own. The tears went into his mouth and he could taste their saltiness. In that moment he realized that he would be missed by someone. He felt slowly returning to his body, wanting to know who it was. And behold, it was Elvealin. For her wish, he stayed and was willing to grow yet.
Elloen finally answered Feamiril: ”Tears. He needs to feel that he is still cared for. He does not believe that he will be missed. And besides tears and water, fresh herbs of Lothlórien”. Feamiril nodded. ”It is worth to try it. But tell me, does he seek for forgiveness as well?” Elloen answered: ”Yes, uncle, I believe so.” Feamiril looked around his bookshelves and took a book off his shelf. He opened a page where Fingon was praying for help from Valar to save Maedhros and showed it to Elloen.
”You want me to pray for him?”, he asked. Feamiril nodded and said: ”Perhaps that is the way for Nienna to hear you, and your tears shall be hers as well. Before you shed any, call for her aid.” Elloen smiled faintly at his uncle as Linnen entered the room. ”I heard you, Elloen. Take this empty bowl”, she said. ”Go to Galadriel's garden, and fill it at the waterfall. Hurry now, son.” Elloen smiled at her and left straight away thanking her, but in the same he was surprised. Did she really call him a ”son”? At least Feamiril didn't seem to mind her doing so.
On the way Elloen wondered if Elvealin had done just what Feamiril had adviced: prayed for Nienna before shedding tears for him. Perhaps the advice was from Feamiril even back then? On a less serious note (or then not), Elloen also thought of how Estarfin would react when he found out that it had been his tears that he was drinking.
But they were tears of a brother in Vanimar. When he spelled his oath, it was clear to him that he would be ready to shed them, for any purpose that may be.
