We left the celebrations prepared by our housekeeper, Filignil, and others of the household, a few hours after midnight. The sky was still dark, with an abundance of stars showing, but we knew it would not be long before dawn. Midsummer was the shortest night of the year!
We had been warmly welcomed by a small selection of neighbours and acquaintances, those we would have chosen ourselves, save some few who were wandering, or in Imladris. It was most enjoyable. The food was of course to the highest standard, roast pork, carp, pickled vegetables, and a variety of other good things to eat, served with several fine wines. I noticed that some of Limael’s latest summer-flower white was on the table. So light and bubbly, it was easy to drink. It was also easy to feel a little drowsy. Filignil altered that by rising to play us a few songs most suitable for the dance on her harp, while Parnard roused our spirits with a song he had composed. I was delighted by my cousin’s contribution. Such a thoughtful and unusual gift. I do believe all who heard were impressed. And yes, we joined in the dancing. I had rarely danced with a partner, and the few times I did never felt like this. I used to be known for treading on feet, and missing steps, though partners would mostly laugh it off, and make light of it. With Estarfin there were never any missteps. It was simply a flow, like two gentle streams coming together. He knew only a few dances well, seemingly for the same reasons as me. He had danced but rarely over the Ages, but together, we could glide across the floor as well as anyone.
I laughed. “It seems to me that much of my past has been but a dream, and only now am I truly alive.” I whispered to him.
Estarfin smiled at me. “I agree, but let us not disregard all of the past. There were good things as well as ill. And it is that past that led us here.”
After speaking briefly with all guests, we sat with a small group, the two young ellith joining us, with questions and congratulations. It seemed dear Marawendi was very taken by what she had seen during the wedding ceremony, and had been questioning her friend Fearanë on other Noldorin customs. Fearanë, being a Nolde and thinking herself a font of wisdom, had been answering all she could.
“One would think you wanted to be Noldorin, my dear,” I told Marawendi. “Yes, we are a great and noble folk, but each clan has its own, eh, strengths and attributes.” Fearanë had just pushed a large strawberry and cream meringue in her mouth, demonstrating an inability to accurately judge sizes. At least she was not being vocally helpful for a few moments. Estarfin passed her a napkin.
We chatted merrily after that, with dear friends old and new, though there was the change of guard with Ceuro going to replace Barahiirn on the ridge outside Numenstaya. Visitors from Celondim were staying overnight, as we had just about enough restored houses to fit them. But for Estarfin and I, we wanted to be away before Anar fully rose.
So we walked from the Hall together with heartfelt blessings still being called out for us, and while the others returned to their celebrating, we walked hand-in-hand down the hill, heading towards my house, which was now ‘ours’.
“You will be staying this night,” I quipped.
He gave me a wry look. “I had thought I might?”
And I took his arm as we walked on, past the house and down to the small lake on the edge of Númenstáya.
“Well, we do have several places to choose from, meldanya. I would say I am happy to be with you in any of them. But my house is a little larger than the others. It will give us more room, if you so wish?”
At that he laughed. “That defeats the purpose, does it not? We should be together.”
I was happy, I had every reason to believe he was happy.
“Racarnë, I do not mind where we go, or what we do, so long as we are together.”
I halted, to place my arms around his neck, and draw him close. “Then we go down to the lake for a while? The water is warm still, it is summer, you shall not freeze. And if, perchance it is a touch cooler than you like, then I shall make up for it. We retire to our house later, after dawn’s first light?”
He looked into my eyes and stroked my hair for a short time. I do not believe he was questioning my words, more treasuring the moment.
“As you wish.”
*I was mounted on my mare, Pelorian, armed and armored, but with naught else in the way of provision. He was standing beside me, looking up, nigh hopelessness in his stormy grey eyes. The settlement behind us was but fallen stone, a wreck of what it had been. I was uncertain–for a moment I thought it to be Imladris. The cries of Men and Orcs tore through the air, their clamour reaching us, though we were some distance away. The forest on the slopes ahead was beginning to burn.
“Ride for the Havens,” he said, his voice made hoarse from the heat, and the filth rising in the air. “Racarnë, you gave me your word.”
I sighed deeply, and ran my fingers through his ash-flecked hair. I could not deny what he said. It had been at Celondim many years past that I had spoken those words. Words to comfort him, and curse myself. I had always known he would not flee to the Undying Lands, nor would he bind me to his fate of remaining while all that was left of our kind fell.
“I would stay at your side, no matter what,” I began.
He raised a hand to halt my plea. “We both knew this day would come. We both chose to live life as fully as we could, in the time we had. You know I cannot bear to think they may capture you and I cannot free you. I can think of nothing worse. I ask you, please let my heart be at rest, knowing you are safe.”
I suppressed my tears, refusing to let them smear my blood-and-dirt-streaked face. I did not want him to remember me thus.
“When all strongholds fall, when all forests burn…” I repeated the promise I had spoken to him.
He nodded solemnly. “I shall remember you, under starlight, while I draw breath…”
I rode off, towards one of the few remaining clearings in the forest that was not yet burning. And then I halted. I turned Pelorian's head back…..
…and I startled from my dream with a gasp, sliding off the side of the bed and dragging the blanket with me.
Estarfin was awake. He moved to help me back into bed. “A dream? Surely not a bad dream ?” He pulled the blanket around us.
I blinked as the full sunlight of the early morning momentarily blinded me. “A dream, Artanaro. But not one that shall come to pass if I have anything to say about it.”
And I thought I had spent far too long in a world of dreams. From this day forth, our spirits were bound and our eternal joy depended entirely on one another.
